All Angels Need Their Wings
by deansgayangelman
Summary: Dean never thought that Castiel would ever return. And when he did, he came in a very unexpected way, a very horrifying way. SLASH Castiel/Dean. Wing-Kink. Takes place in season 7. AU.
1. Crash Landing

Hey! I just randomly thought of this story while I was at school today, so I thought I'd give it a shot. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters

**~All Angels Need Their Wings~**

Dean let out a long sigh as he watched his younger brother sluggishly throw his pack onto the questionable sofa. Dean glanced around at the old abandoned house they were currently taking refuge in. This one wasn't too bad; it was just dirty with a few pieces of dusty furniture spread out within the worn out rooms.

Both were sore from the hunt, but nothing too serious had occurred. Dean rubbed his aching shoulders as his thoughts suddenly drifted to his angelic best friend. He groaned as he rubbed his eyes with the heal of his palm; desperately willing those thoughts away. Cas was gone. Thinking about him wouldn't bring him back, and it would just stress him out, which is something he _didn't_ need more of.

It had been almost a year since Castiel had disappeared into the lake and was devoured by black goo; being swallowed whole and never to see daylight again. Dean's mouth twisted with dissatisfaction as he realized he was still thinking about the angel. His eyes drooped to the floor, suddenly aware of how exhausted he truly was.

Dean's head involuntarily jerked up in Sam's direction. He was staring.

"Dean? Forget something? You've been staring at the floor for over a minute now." Sam turned to gather his clothes as he muttered,

"I swear all that porn is turning you into a zombie."

Dean closed the creaking wood door and huffed,

"Bitch."

Sam gave a tight smile over his shoulder,

"Jerk."

To Dean's surprise he felt the floor beneath him begin to shake. He looked to Sam who looked just as startled, as the shaking became more intense. Both hunters grabbed their guns and spun in circles; waiting for an attack. Sam had his knife at the ready and spoke over his shoulder,

"Demons?"

Dean could feel the wooden floor boards shake and creak,

"…I don't think so."

The house began to shake violently as old light bulbs shattered from an invisible pressure. Dean could feel a tightness form in his chest and his head felt like it was in a vice. He fell to his knees, just as his brother unconsciously did the same, and held his painfully throbbing skull. At first he could hear a faint hissing sound all around them, but soon it became a loud un-describable piercing buzz that vibrated his entire body. To Dean this was all too familiar. He forced out a cry against the pressure that continued to build,

"Sam!"

His younger brother was on the floor as if in a praying position; twitching a squirming, trying to get release from the unseen pain.

All of the bulbs were completely shattered now, and the whole room was caressed with a blue haze from the half moon suspended low in the starless sky.

A stinging bright white light soon appeared over the shaking house; covering it in a blinding spotlight. Dean had to shut his eyes from the blazing white hot that seemed to be burning the house. Sam ended up on the other side of the dining room, crouched down and covering his ears with his eyes locked shut.

Dean felt as if the air had a grip on his heart and was squeezing it painfully into submission; he couldn't move now, the air was too thick and the buzzing paralyzed him. He tried to scream but nothing came out.

Suddenly, in a burst of stabbing white and wood splinters, something crashed through the roof and plummeted to the ground. It smacked the floor with such force that it left a slight crater on the broken boards. Dust and debris covered Sam and Dean as the light suddenly vanished, as if it were never there. The buzzing had halted as well and Dean thought that the sudden silence was even more painful.

He tried to get his eyes to adjust to the moonlight and shadows as he lifted his head; inspecting whatever the hell just happened. He shook his olive green jacket as a puff of dust exploded around him; sending him into a coughing fit. The house creaked and moaned around them as random boards and shingles fell and snapped in the after math. Sam shifted and groaned as he shoved boards and tree limbs off of himself; his mane of hair in almost a comical disarray.

Dean cleared his dry throat as he waved around the dust filled space,

"Sammy, you ok?"

His younger brother groaned in protest and grumbled,

"Yea I'm fine…what the hell just happened?"

Dean was already preoccupied with getting up onto his knees to see what had actually crash landed through the roof. As soon as his alerted gaze locked onto the mysterious object, he felt his throat seize up. He couldn't move a single muscle.


	2. Of Flesh and Blood

Dean thought that a nail had impaled his skull, or that he was hallucinating. But the image didn't waver. All he could do was stare.

Lying motionless, surrounded by a halo of moonlight and dust haze, was Castiel. _His _Castiel. His limp body was sprawled out naked in the center of the wooden crater; being a little too still for Dean's comfort.

Dean's muscles finally kicked in at the sudden realization that his angel had returned. He scrambled over the debris and fell to his knees by Castiel; shaking his shoulders. Sam just stared.

"Cas! Come on Cas wake up! Cas…"

Dean glanced upward to notice Sam's expression, which was one of complete horror. Dean snapped his head back down as sudden anxiety pumped through his veins.

He pulled back and felt his eyes go wide in shock.

Beneath Castiel was a growing pool of dark red blood; rapidly spreading throughout the crater. Dean's heart thumped loudly as his mind went into panic mode. He grabbed the angel by the shoulders again and shouted,

"Cas! You better wake up right now you son of a bitch or I swear I'll…"

Castiel began to stir; slowly at first, then he began twitching. His twitching soon became wincing as his eyes snapped open.

A sudden blood curdling scream rang throughout the house; shaking Dean to his very core.

Castiel's face twisted in confusion and agony as he suddenly thrashed about; desperately grabbing for anything. Castiel wailed in agony as he blindly gripped Dean's t shirt, and Dean held the angel by the shoulders, trying to keep him down. Sam grabbed him as well as he choked out painful cries and forced his way into his knees. As he did he stumbled forward; blindly searching the ground as if he couldn't see.

To Dean's horror he finally saw what was causing Cas so much pain.

Along both shoulder blades he could see a long, huge gap of flesh as long as his forearm cut clean off on both sides of his back, with bone perfectly sliced so that the two stubs from his wings were smooth against him. His back was drenched in blood; dripping down his body onto the smearing puddle beneath him.

Dean's heart seized up at what he was seeing. He could hardly comprehend that this was happening. He tried to calm his thrashing friend because that was all he and Sam could truly do.

Dean wanted to die at the sight of Castiel's face dripping wet with tears. His eyes were red and puffy as his raspy voice cried out into the night; begging for the pain to stop; begging for forgiveness.

Castiel was on his knees; his arms flailed about as they smacked Sam in the face, but he still held onto him. His eyes frantically stared out into the darkness of the room and he wouldn't look at either Sam or Dean. Dean wondered if Cas even realized where he was.

But the mere thought of Cas being blind caused his stomach to churn uncomfortably. He silently prayed to anyone or anything in hopes that that wasn't true.

Boards went flying as he howled in anguish. He whipped his head back and yelped even louder; his face contorted into what Dean had seen all too much of in his time spent in hell.

Dean grabbed for the angel's face, trying to keep his voice from shaking,

"Cas, Cas its ok! It's me, Dean." Even though Dean knew nothing was ok.

Castiel began choking from crying so hard; his throat too weak to scream anymore. He turned to Dean and held onto him for dear life; rocking with him and trembling violently in his arms. Dean made sure not to get his arms anywhere near the gaping wounds.

"Dean!" He choked and gasped again, "It hurts! It HURTS! Make it stop, I- I-"

Cas went limp in Dean's arms.


	3. Come Alive Again

Silence filled the moonlit room as Dean and Sam both stared at Castiel's back in utter shock. The younger hunter quickly got to his feet and searched for his pack with the first aid kit under the mess of wood.

Dean just sat there motionless, holding Cas close to him, listening to his uneven heartbeat soon becoming calm. He was literally sitting in a pool of blood, but he didn't dare move. He didn't really know what to think at the moment, so he quietly watched his brother work diligently at stitching up whatever he could of Castiel's back. He heard Sam mumble,

"Holy…"

Dean cleared his throat to test his voice before he spoke,

"Can you fix him Sam?"

His younger brother inspected the wounds; his brow coming together over his eyes.

"There's some skin that's missing…but I think I can sew most of it back together." Sam sighed after a long pause, "I don't know who could've done this, Dean. I don't know who would want to do this...I didn't even know this was possible…cutting off an angel's-"

"Don't-" Dean cut in; not wanting to hear any more. Sam looked at him sympathetically, but didn't say a word.

He was horrified. Disgusted. Dean had seen some pretty traumatizing shit in the past (not to mention his trip to hell) but this…to Cas...Dean felt anger bubbling within as he clenched his jaw; trying desperately to calm himself.

He would never admit it to Sam, or anybody else, but he had always been curious about Castiel's wings. He always wondered what they might look like; what color; what shape. Would they be the stereotypical white? Or would they be something else, like a soft brown? No…they would probably be dark, like his hair. He would picture Cas with his chest puffed out; head thrown back, with large powerful wings displayed and pumping behind him. Dark ocean eyes would glare out into the universe; ready to concur anything that seemed like a threat.

And If Dean had visited that mental image on more than one occasion, he'd never say.

But now, that would never be. He sighed again as he held Cas up for his brother, and his head lolled to one side, resting on the soft spot between Dean's neck and shoulder. Dean looked down to watch Sam wash off the remainder of blood on Castiel's back, ignoring the tickle of Castiel's hair on his skin. The two wounds were stitched as tightly as the skin would stretch, but not even close to being sealed. Sam wrapped multiple layers of bandages around Cas' upper torso, and finally let out a long breath as he sat back from exhaustion.

Dean gingerly lifted the angel and cautiously stepped over wooden debris; carrying him to the other section of the house that was still intact, surprisingly.

He silently ignored the feeling of his legs shaking.


	4. Where Do We Go From Here

Darkness. Black goo. Blood, screaming, Cas…_Cas_. Wings. Fluttering…what was that noise…

Dean felt the worn out mattress creak beneath him, and the sound of rustling fabric dragged him out of his dreams. Remembering what had just transpired hours ago, his eyes instantly snapped open. He forced his head up from where it lay on the edge of the bed; no matter how stiff his neck was, and locked his gaze with tired blue eyes. Except, this time Castiel's eyes were not the large, dark ones he always used to know. They were shockingly pale; as if all of the life had been drained out of them.

Castiel was lying on his stomach, with his arms curled up under his chest. His head rested on a small pillow that Dean always kept tucked away in the back seat of his baby. His pale face was turned on its side; analyzing Dean in silence.

The remainder of blood had been cleaned off, and Dean had put a pair of his own sweatpants on him to cover up his naked body. They were a bit long for him, and they bunched up around his ankles, but they were the softest pair that Dean owned. Cas looked so small and frail in the large bed; it was a shocking contrast to what Dean was used to.

Before Dean could even think of anything remotely comforting to say, Castiel spoke in a low, raspy voice; pain still etched into the creases of his face,

"Dean."

The look in his eyes; the way he said his name, told Dean everything. He already knew what he was asking. Cas stared back expectantly, waiting for an answer. Dean tried with all of his strength not to glance at his bandaged back. He could see in the corner of his eye that the bandages were stained red. Dean swallowed past the lump in his throat,

"Cas, they're…they're gone."

Silence filled the shadowy bedroom as Castiel stiffened; his eyes drifting off at nothing. But even if Cas did seemed shocked, he also had a look that said he _already knew_. Dean had never seen Cas pour out so much emotion just in his actions. Actually, it was alien. But Dean was determined to straighten this all out, and for once Dean actually knew no words were necessary at the moment. He prayed a silent 'thank you', for he was never good with comforting gestures or tender words.

But, as if his body was controlled by someone else, Dean slowly reached out and gently ran his hand along the angel's upper arm. He may not be good at comforting but he can at least try, for the angel's sake. Seconds later, Castiel made the effort to reach out and touch Dean's shoulder, but hesitantly pulled back; tucking his arms under his body again. The angel closed his eyes and gave a monotone whisper,

"I need time to heal Dean. I need time to think. I would appreciate some privacy."

Dean pulled his hand back and sighed. There was no need for him to say anything. He reluctantly stood up and walked silently towards the door; but stopped and glanced back. He watched as Cas slowly buried his face into the pillow.


	5. Protecting Something Holy

Dean stomped into the kitchen and zoned in on the cooler sitting on the floor. Sam sat at a small dusty table and watched his brother from over his laptop. How Sam managed to get wifi everywhere they went, Dean would never know. But his younger brother's eyebrows furrowed together in concern as he watched Dean down his beer in record time; slamming the empty glass bottle onto the counter.

Dean huffed an angry sigh as he turned his gaze toward his sibling towering over the computer; giving him his famous puppy dog eyes and asked,

"So, how is he?"

It was a simple enough question, but Dean was so damn exhausted. He leaned up against the counter and wiped a hand across his face,

"He hasn't said much," Dean's eyes flicked across the kitchen space as he continued, "Just that he needs time to heal."

Sam shifted on the creaky chair as he ran his hand back through his long hair,

"So I'm guessing Castiel's angel mojo has been cut off, huh."

Dean looked back over to his brother,

"Yea and apparently he's been kicked out of heaven hotel as well."

Sam grumbled

"Yea more like shoved."

Dean glared at him. Some raised his eyebrows,

"Sorry but, Dean he literally FELL from the sky. Just, returning out of nowhere, which we don't even know anything about, and his wings were cut off…" Sam gestured to his laptop,

"I, I don't even know where to begin with the research. I don't even know if Castiel could ever get his wings back."

Dean flexed his jaw muscles and said sternly,

"Of course he can! I don't care _how_, but we'll _figure it out_."

And with that Dean stormed out of the room; frustrated with himself for not being able to help his best friend. How could he ever protect something so holy?


	6. Wounds

_A few days later…_

Dark circles had formed under Castiel's hooded eyes. His pale lips were slightly parted as he watched Dean enter the room. Dean noticed how thin Cas was becoming over the past few days; Dean always offered something to eat but Castiel would simply say no. He had a slight fear that Cas might not be an angel anymore. He wasn't sure what had happened before the "fall", and what it had changed in Cas, but he didn't like the possibilities.

Dean had heard Cas' stomach rumble perpetually during his visits in the room, and was convinced he needed to eat; which was a first because angels don't eat.

The past few days had been quiet. No information had been exchanged and nothing was said. Dean was growing impatient because _he wanted fucking answers._

Dean walked in and sat down on the edge of the bed; butt bumping into one of Cas' legs as he set a bag of food down onto the nearby chair.

Castiel didn't move, or even make an effort to look at the hunter.

"I have to check your wound." Dean surprised himself at how soft his own voice was.

Castiel hardly nodded in response. Dean slowly leaned over the angel and gingerly began peeling away the bandages. Sam and Dean had to change the bandages quite frequently throughout the past couple days; disinfecting and checking the stitches. The two wounds were healing fast; faster than humanly possible, but not in an instant either. He remembered how Castiel would bite his lip and whimper in pain as pressure would be applied to the gashes.

Dean was confused on why he didn't just heal himself, like he used to. But that's what led to his thoughts about Cas being human. And he still didn't know how he got out of the Leviathan's grip in the first place. Dean never saw Castiel's soul leave his vessel, all he ever saw were black swirls dispersing from where Cas had submerged himself. There were so many things to clear up.

Once the bandages were peeled away, Dean stared down at the marks. He inspected the area and there seemed to be no infection. Sam always went into crazy cleaning mode multiple times throughout the day; making sure there wasn't one speck of bacteria on Cas' wounds. Dealing with a nasty infection is the last thing the three of them needed on their plate. Sam was a huge help, but most of the time Dean wanted to be the one to help Cas out.

The wounds were very close to healing over and his back was left with two long raised lines along his shoulder blades. The huge lines were red and swollen; and still bled occasionally.

Dean hesitantly reached out and lightly touched the angel's wound. His body jerked from the contact and Dean quickly pulled back,

"Sorry, did I hurt you?"

Castiel shook his head against the pillow,

"No."

Dean sighed in relief as he wrapped Cas' bandages back up and leaned back, he said quietly,

"You need to eat something."

There was a long pause.

"No Dean."

He huffed and said sarcastically,

"Oh yea, because your totally gonna survive if you starve yourself to death, especially since you seem to be some mutated half angel – half human thing."

Dean instantly regretted the words that slipped out of his mouth.

Castiel whipped his head around to stare at Dean. His eyebrows curved down; shading his eyes giving him a menacing look. Castiel opened his mouth to say something, but soon snapped it shut. His eyebrows lifted and his eyelids drooped once again.

Dean couldn't believe what he said and mentally punched himself for opening his big stupid mouth, so he cleared his throat in the deafening silence.

Dean reached over and grabbed the bag of food he left on the chair,

"Here, eat this. If you don't I'm going to force feed you."

It took a lot of coaxing, but Dean finally convinced him.

Dean tried not to notice how the angel's hip bones jutted out, and how his cheeks looked hallow. Dean, as tenderly as he could, leaned down and slipped his arms around Castiel's shoulders. He felt a bit uncomfortable being so physically close to him, but he had to let that go for the moment. Dean made sure not to touch the bandages as he helped the angel sit upright. He managed to twist Cas around so he was facing him, and Cas positioned his legs so he was sitting crossed legged on the mattress. Dean didn't want to flip him over on his back for fear of causing him agonizing pain. The bed creaked as he let out a low grunt; leaning forward into Dean. At first Dean paused, unsure of what to do. Cas' head was resting in the crook of his neck, and his soft, dark hair tickled his cheek, but Dean quickly sat him up straight and held him by the shoulders. He shook a greasy bag in front of his face and gave a tight smile,

"Hamburgers; your favorite."


	7. What The Hell Happened

Dean and Cas sat cross legged on the bed, facing each other. Dean finished up the last of his french fries and tossed the scrunched up napkin into the bag. Dean had really wanted to actually _cook_ something for Cas, but he had no supplies and it's not like there was anything in town that made home cooked meals anyway.

He looked over to the angel and tried to suppress a chuckle. Cas was holding up a french fry; examining it as if it was the most interesting object in the world. Dean waited for the famous head tilt, and it finally happened. Castiel's eyebrows came together as he tilted his head; analyzing the french fry even further.

A surprising burst of warmth filled his chest at the sight, and for a split second Dean felt as if it were old times; that nothing was causing Cas pain, and he was just simply being the nerdy dork that he always was. And for a split second, Castiel forgot as well. But it didn't last very long.

Castiel unconsciously went to twitch his wing, which is what he always used to do when he was feeling curious, and the boys could never see it. But he didn't feel any muscle or bone shift on his back. The expanse that his nerves stretched from left to right, and the length of all the veins that were knitted together with strong muscle, was gone. It was like an empty void on either side; endlessly taunting him. The instant remembrance hit him like a ton of bricks. His lips drew together tightly as his hand holding the fry slowly dropped into his lap.

Dean didn't seem to notice the sudden shift in Cas' mood as he snatched the fry from the angel's fingers and teased,

"You're supposed to eat it, not admire it."

Cas silently watched Dean's mouth as he ate the stolen fry.

Right before Dean was about to ask if he wanted to lay back down, Cas spoke plainly,

"I cannot move anything anymore."

The angel's voice was gravely and a bit mournful. Dean wasn't dumb; he knew exactly what he was talking about. Cas stared at Dean's middle; unable to meet the hunter's anxious green eyes.

"The muscles, Dean, they have been severed. So closely that I cannot even flex what was once there. There is no trace of my wings left."

Dean sat there, listening, as he watched Cas' stoic expression slowly turn sour. The angel ran his fingers along the mattress and continued, speaking flatly,

"The bone connecting to the sockets is gone. I cannot even move those…I feel, empty. Once I returned to heaven, somehow, I felt whole again. My mind was clear," he shook his head as it hung low, "And then…I'm not entirely sure what happened; it's somewhat vague, but I'm confident that I know most of the details."

All Dean could do was sit there. He whispered into the silence,

"What happened to you Cas? The last time I saw you, you disappeared into the lake."

Castiel finally fixed his gaze onto the hunter,

"My vessel melted, Dean."

He raised his eyebrows in surprise,

"What?"

Castiel blinked slowly and sighed lightly,

"My vessel could no longer contain the power that was building within it. The vessel's body cells and molecules mutated from the energy; hence the melting. My soul and grace were finally free once the body disassembled. My mind was no longer corrupt from the leviathan's grip, and I could see how much wrong I had caused."

His head hung even lower as he looked away,

"I begged for forgiveness and I returned to heaven…"

Dean was transfixed within the story,

"Yea, and?"

Castiel's head snapped up; his large eyes boring into Dean's own,

"Before when I believed to be God, I searched through heaven's entire expanse; destroying all of Raphael's loyal followers." He shook his head, "But…somehow, a large group of them formed their own protective space in the corner of the world, much like how Gabriel did, and they became undetected by my radar. I don't know how they did it, but they managed to hide from my line of sight and senses. They slipped past me."

The angel's face displayed a hint of shame, and lowered his head once again; speaking in a voice so quiet and low it was almost inaudible,

"Once they heard news of my return, and discovered how…vulnerable I was, they found me. Their force was too strong for I alone to break, and they…they tortured me and cut off my wings, then banished me from heaven, leaving me to die."

He ended the sentence flatly; unable to look up. Dean didn't know what to say. He also had no idea how Cas could've ended up landing almost directly on top of them. So instead he just asked,

"So…are you human now? How in the hell did you "fall" without turning into a pile of mush once you hit the ground?"

The angel looked slightly annoyed at Dean's questioning, but still stared down,

"I'm still an angel Dean. My abilities are minimal but I'm still connected to heaven; barely. The group of ex-Raphael's followers are just strong enough together to keep my powers at bay, but that doesn't mean they aren't working, hence the slow healing process." He paused, "They did do one thing though."

Dean felt his heart thump against his chest as he listened.

"They made sure that I felt all of the pain, as if I were human."

Dean wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans, unable to say anything.

"I am nothing now. I am worthless. I am of no use to you, or anybody else. Once I am fully healed, I will relieve you and Sam of my presence."

Dean reacted to that with a start. He gently reached out and placed his hand on Cas' shoulder, speaking firmly, "_Hey, look at me._"

He waited until Cas reluctantly peered up at him.

"You listen to me. You're not going anywhere, you understand? You're not worthless and you are something. No matter how much shit we've been through, you're our friend and you're still our angel, wingless or not. You're staying with us."

Before Castiel had made his horrific entrance a few days before, the thought of him had always made Dean angry as hell. And he would know. Dean would constantly think of what he would do if the angel returned, and he never came up with anything. He didn't know if he could trust him, or even forgive him for what he did in the past.

But who was Dean to judge.

He banished all of those thoughts. He didn't know why, but he just knew that the old Cas was back. Maybe a little more emotional and angsty than before, not to mention wingless, but he was back. And even though Dean's heart was slowly breaking every time he looked at his faithless angel of the lord, his heart also beat profusely with joy that he was here, again, sitting right in front of him.

But he would never admit it.

Castiel looked at him blankly, and slowly nodded in silence.

He suddenly groaned in pain and slumped forward. Dean caught him instantly and could tell he was trying to stay up but failed miserably.

Dean eased him down onto his stomach and grunted,

"Alright time to put you down."


	8. I Know What It's Like

More days had gone by, and Castiel's back had completely healed. Two long scars trailed down his shoulder blades, looking almost like two zippers.

But even as Castiel's body healed, his spirit did not.

He was fully capable of moving around, and Dean knew that, but he instead chose to lie on the old bed, and stare off at nothing.

Dean had filled Sam in on what Castiel had told him, and Sam understood that all they needed was time. It was a good thing that the abandoned house they were currently staying at was in the forest; because if anyone were around they would've been spotted out by now.

The sun had just begun to peak over the horizon as Dean trotted into the angel's room. Bright sun rays spilled in from the nearby dirty window, and stretched across the wooden floor and over Cas' body as he lay sleeping.

Dean thought it was a bit odd that Cas had started sleeping, but he shrugged it off. He was determined to get Cas outside into the fresh air today.

Sam had gotten bored, so he went out investigating a mediocre case, leaving Dean to take care of the stoic, yet angsty blue eyed man.

Dean paused just as he had entered the room. Castiel was lying on his back, with his head facing away from him. Cas had continued to wear Dean's soft sweatpants; ignoring the fact that he hadn't changed out of them in multiple days, and had refused to wear anything else. Dean noticed how the sunlight streamed in from the cracked window and caressed the angel's shirtless form; giving him a celestial glow. He thought it was a funny and slightly depressing coincidence.

Dean took a step forward and tried not to stare, but failed miserably. He observed the curve of Cas' torso, and his smooth chest moved up and down in a smooth rhythm as he breathed. Dean's eyes trailed down the narrowing length of his lean stomach and locked onto the curve of his hip bones. Cas was still thin, but Dean had worked endlessly to convince him to keep eating.

Dean had never actually _looked_ at Cas like this before. Sure, Dean knew the angel's vessel was attractive, but he never truly noticed the finer details before. He never really had a chance. Dean tried not to think about how much he _might _actually find Cas attractive.

As he took another step closer, the floor creaked loudly; shattering the silence.

Castiel stirred. He slowly opened his eyes but still starred off in the same direction; voice groggy from sleep,

"Hello Dean."

The hunter took a breath and strutted up to the side of the bed and said flatly,

"Come on, get up."

The angel turned his head and blinked at him; raising himself onto one elbow.

"Why? Is something wrong?"

Dean pointed at the bed in exasperation,

"Yea something's wrong! It's been over a week and you haven't done a damn thing. You've healed yourself a long while ago, and now all you do is lay in this bed and stare off at who knows what. Come on, get up, I want to see you move again. It's gross how dead you look."

Castiel's eyes were still pale, but his expression darkened as his voice came out low and gravely,

"I might as well be dead; not like that would get me anywhere." He sighed in exasperation as he looked away, "And no Dean I would prefer to not go outside with you."

Dean clenched his fists in annoyance,

"Stop being so stubborn Cas, your being worse than me! And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

The angel turned over onto his side facing away from Dean. The bed hinges creaked as Dean observed Castiel's long scars; waiting for an answer.

Cas curled up into a slight fetal position, speaking in a lower tone than before,

"Nothing. Leave me."

Dean locked his jaw and purposefully sat down on the bed, crossing his arms in equal stubbornness. He was becoming increasingly concerned with how depressed Cas was becoming; it was alarming in fact. Dean continued to get flashbacks of when he met 2014 Cas, and shuttered at the memory of how lost he had been. No. He couldn't let that happen. He couldn't really quite understand what it felt like to lose _wings_, but he knew exactly what it felt like to lose limbs. He had in fact been in hell, and they tore and ripped from his bones, leaving nothing but a limbless shell. Dean huffed again in annoyance,

"Cas. What, the hell, is that, supposed, to mean?"

The angel didn't budge from where he lay and said flatly,

"Don't ask stupid questions, Dean."

Dean grabbed Cas roughly by the shoulder and twisted him onto his back. Castiel winced but stared up at Dean wide eyed as he towered over him. Dean hissed,

"Whether you like it or not I'm not going to let you rot away in this place. You may be wingless but at least be grateful you're still alive! The leviathans don't have you anymore, and you're back again. Now get your non-feathery ass out of this bed and pray that I don't drag you through the woods by your ankles!"

Castiel shot upright; almost hitting Dean in the face with his own. He was forced to move backwards a bit from the sudden change of distance. Cas' eyes were full of disbelief as he stared up towards the hunter,

"You don't know what it's like you ignorant ass! Try to imagine yourself losing both of your arms, the equivalent. How would you deal with that? How would you live with that! And do not ever assume that I am ungrateful for being back Dean!"

His voice became dangerously quiet,

"And don't even try to pretend that everything is ok, because it's not. My wings are gone Dean, gone! They were a part of me that made me who I am! I don't even know if I can ever get them back."

Dean glared as he grunted and stood up, taking a few steps back. He stomped out of the room and returned in an instant; a pair of jeans and a t-shirt in hand.

He threw the bundle of clothes at the sitting angel, with the t-shirt smacking him in the face and landing in his lap. Castiel stared as Dean spoke,

"Put these on. Be out of here in five minutes."

He held his hand up, symbolizing a five with his fingers as he turned to leave. He stopped mid walk and glared back, whispering to the staring face,

"It seems that you forgot that I do know what you're feeling. I was in hell, remember? You're the one who dragged me out. Every day for what felt like 40 years they cut at me. Slicing and carving until nothing was left. I had no body; I no longer owned my body. They cut off my arms and my legs. Everything." He glanced down at his own trembling hand on the rusty door knob, "So don't ever pull this crap with me again, Cas, _ever_."

And with that he stomped out and slammed the door.


	9. What Are You Afraid Of

Not but a few minutes later, Castiel slowly appeared in the doorway. Dean had started to clean his gun as he lounged and waited at the small kitchen table. But when he looked up at the angel, he paused.

Castiel looked down at himself quizzically, both brows coming together in a frown. He tugged at the faded blue fabric; trying to figure out if that was the correct way to wear the basic t-shirt. He shifted his weight onto one hip; getting a feel for Dean's worn in jeans that were not the usual dress pants he was so used to.

Dean had given him his tightest shirt; knowing how thin he still was. But when he saw Cas sporting the tight, form fitting material, he was shocked into silence at how good he looked.

Dean was startled for a moment, maybe more for himself than anything, and shook it off and as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Castiel always seemed to make some sort of eye widening entrance, unintentional or not.

Dean frowned at his own foreign thoughts and quickly stood up from the table, trying to ignore everything. He quickly set down the newly polished gun.

Dean displayed his famous charming smile as he took the angel by the arm. Castiel obediently followed in silence; knowing it would be no use trying to convince the Winchester otherwise.

Dean wasn't sure if Cas could handle a public place like the local bar, so he resorted to a walk in the woods. This was becoming borderline chick-flick, but Dean knew he needed to help his friend; this was _Cas _for crying out loud. There was nothing for Dean to prove.

He hadn't felt relief like this in a very long time. The pressure of having to be a bad-ass stud slash ladies man slash hero brother could be overwhelming at times.

As they both stepped out into the warming sunlight, Dean shook away his consistent thoughts, again.

This is for Cas. Not for you.

Dean gazed up towards the infinite intertwining branches. He observed how they stretched and craned towards the sun; craving for a taste of light. He could hear a trickle of water not too far off, mixed with the hazy buzzing of all types of birds chirping and squawking in the distance.

He could sense Castiel close behind as they traveled over a beaten down trail. He glanced over his shoulder to get a glimpse of the angel; hoping that maybe he was enjoying this.

To Dean's disappointment, Cas' eyes looked sunken and lifeless. He stared at the ground behind Dean, not even noticing the life around him. His arms hung limp at his sides as he dragged his feet.

Dean frowned in concern as he paused in front of a small stream. Castiel bumped into him from behind; hardly noticing that he had stopped.

Dean slowly turned around and placed a hand onto Castiel's shoulder. The angel didn't look up.

The wind rustled the green leaves and foliage around them, sending a light chill across both of their skin. It was just the two of them, but Dean spoke quietly,

"I hate seeing you like this."

The angel didn't move, or sway, or blink. He just kept standing there as still as a wax figure, as if his life depended on it. His voice was quiet in contrast to the buzzing forest,

"I'm fine, Dean. This odd…emotional burden shall soon pass."

Dean could hear the forest sing with life as they both stood there in contemplative silence. Castiel was such an odd, lifeless figure that stood out amongst the lively feel of the woods around them.

Dean squeezed the angel's shoulder in response and jumped over the stream, continuing the walk.

After about 20 minutes of sauntering around they made their way into a clearing. Dean observed the few wispy clouds that hung about in the light blue sky; squinting from the sunlight. He glanced back to make sure Cas was still following, and pointed to a large picture perfect tree off in the center of the grassy field. Dean huffed,

"I'm freaking tired dude, let's go over here."

Castiel nodded wearily in response and began following the hunter.

The walk towards the tree had been up hill, and by the time Dean got to the top he collapsed against the sturdy trunk, sighing in relief. He felt a refreshing coolness wash over his whole entire body as he rested in the shade.

He hardly noticed that Castiel had sat down next to him, arm's length away. Dean wanted to cheer him up so badly that it pained him. He felt angry with himself because he thought that there was nothing he could do. Dean scooted down and laid on his back; propping his head up with both hands. He could feel the long, smooth grass tickling his arms and neck, and he had a sudden idea.

He was curious to see just how much newborn emotion he could squeeze out of Cas. It was worth a shot.

Dean looked over to Castiel; a mischievous grin forming on his face. Cas noticed Dean looking over at him and he frowned in confusion. He was about to speak when suddenly he was tackled to the ground.

Dean leaped over Cas and began tickling him furiously.

At first Castiel thought that maybe Dean had gone crazy. He stared up at him wide eyed not fully understanding why Dean was groping him in a childish way. But suddenly as Dean began to tickle his ribs, Castiel felt something bubble within him that he had never truly experienced before.

Dean hoped that this would spark something in Cas' seemingly lifeless form; because if this went horribly wrong Dean thought he might die from embarrassment.

Castiel began squirming away but Dean quickly climbed on top of him; straddling him so he had no chance to escape.

Castiel squirmed in confusion,

"Dean wha-"

Dean tickled his lower stomach and Castiel suddenly burst into a fit of laughter. This was quite new to the angel but he couldn't stop. He threw his head back laughing even harder, not knowing exactly why, but he just did.

Dean didn't know he himself could feel so ecstatic seeing Castiel laughing and grinning so much. He didn't know he could ever feel this happy. Dean laughed as he watched Cas arch his back and twist; arms flailing about in an excited way.

Castiel's face stretched into a ridiculous grin as he tried to weakly grab at Dean's hands. In-between giggles he gasped,

"Dean! Stop-please-"

Dean faked an evil laugh and tickled him even more.

Castiel wiggled furiously and shrieked in excitement, his eyes snapped shut as his muscles began to burn. He blindly searched for Dean's quick hands and managed to get a hold of his wrists. Cas may be weak but he was still an equal force to Dean, so once he got ahold of Dean's wrists it was difficult for Dean to continue. Cas gasped for air while smiling,

"I can't-can't breathe! Dean!"

Dean began to slow down, laughing as well. It felt so good to laugh; Otherworldly actually.

Dean was still straddling Cas as he watched him pant beneath him. His dark hair was in disarray as he lay there smiling, his eyes hooded, his face flushed and his chest heaving. It even looked as if his skin had gotten some color back.

Dean suddenly became hyper aware of the fact that he was straddling Cas, and that he could feel every place that was touching. The tips of his ears began to burn.

Castiel, still trying to catch his breath, unintentionally let out a tired groan,

"Dean…"

Dean's eyebrows flew up. He knew that that wasn't meant to come out the way it did, and to his dismay he felt his lower region become immensely hot.

Dean sat there in mute fear. He had crossed the line, he knew he did. _What was he doing?_

Castiel had never felt so good. He wanted to thank Dean for being so good to him. Feeling the weight and touch of Dean instantly calmed him, and he didn't know exactly why, but he honestly didn't care. He wondered why Dean's behavior had changed so drastically over the past few days. _Wasn't Dean uncomfortable with personal space?_ _Wasn't this too…what's the word, chick-flicky?_

But Cas put his thoughts aside for the moment, and instantly went to reveal his wings and wrap them around the hunter; to display a show of affection, he had always wanted to do it and now seemed to be the best time-

He suddenly stopped, realization hitting him hard.

Dean saw the smile quickly leave Cas' face, making his leave as well. To his alarm he watched as Cas' eyes became glossy and welled up, a single tear streamed down his face.

Dean tensed up with concern,

"Cas? What's wrong?"

He watched as Castiel's face pinched up in frustration as he turned his head to the side in shame. He covered his face with both hands.

He began sobbing under Dean.

Dean's eyes went wide as he hurriedly jumped off of Cas and knelt down at his side. He didn't know what to do. He felt helpless as he watched his best friend curl into a ball and weep into his hands, trying to hide himself from Dean's view.

The startled hunter whispered to him,

"Cas, Cas."

He looked around for a second, and hesitantly reached out and lifted the trembling man into his arms. Dean didn't know what to do as they both sat there; another wracking sob shaking the angel's body. He slowly rubbed circles onto his back, being gentle so he wouldn't put too much pressure on the new scars. But he tightly wrapped his other arm around Castiel's lower middle, pulling him closer as he ignored his own protesting thoughts.

Dean was beyond uncomfortable at this point, what the hell was he doing? Against his own screaming judgment he pulled back slightly and lifted Castiel's face with his finger under his chin, forcing him to look at him.

His eyes were large and watery as he tried to quiet himself from embarrassment. His chin quivered as he opened his mouth and whispered hoarsely,

"I was- I was going to-but I, I can't –"

Dean shushed him and ran a hand down the angel's arm. Castiel wished Dean hadn't pulled away; he wanted to be touched, to be held again.

Castiel leaned forward and reached towards Dean again, hoping he would get the hint, but Dean panicked and suddenly stood up. He held his hand out for him instead.

"Come on." Dean said softly, "Let's go get something to eat. Pie is the ultimate healing food."


	10. It's All Platonic I Swear

A few more weeks had gone by, and Castiel had started to join Dean and Sam on their usual hunts. The angel knew that he no longer had any angel business to attend to; not after what he did and what happened to him, so he had nothing but time on his hands.

They would travel around state, researching, killing, digging, the norm. Castiel would help with anything that he could. Sometimes he would pretend to be a second agent with Dean, and other times he would go investigating throughout the local library with Sam. Also, still being celestial, he was a wonderful source of knowledge for the boys.

Castiel became a permanent third member of the party. He didn't mind it too much, he actually enjoyed his time with the boys; getting to know them even better than before. He stayed with them now, instead of flitting in and out of their lives like he did in the past. On rare occasions by the end of the day, Dean would recite a recent story to Sam about how Cas kept whipping out his FBI badge upside down, again.

Castiel would observe Dean's face as he told his younger brother the story over a few beers, noticing how his eyes sparkled at something so seemingly insignificant.

Dean would sleep on the floor whenever the three of them took residence in a random shady motel. Sam would take one bed, Castiel the other and Dean with pillows and blankets on the floor. Sam tried to convince his brother to just flip flop once in a while, or that he could just get his own room, but the thought of either _leaving_ _Cas alone_ in his own room or being stuck with Cas _alone_ _without Sam_ made Dean nervous. So instead he would just stubbornly grunt,

"It's fine."

Castiel had innocently suggested in the past that he and Dean could just share the second bed; knowing it would fit them both, and had watched curiously as Sam covered his face with his hand, suppressing a laugh. Dean chuckled nervously at the angel as his face turned a bright shade of red. He ran his hand back through his hair and huffed while grabbing his leather jacket,

"Jesus Cas no. I'm going to get some grub."

Dean threw his pack into his baby's trunk, sighing in relief that he had finally gotten his beloved Impala back. He eyed the angel as he sauntered out of the motel room, closing the door behind him.

Castiel began wearing his trench coat again, and Dean was surprised at how that one little detail could make him so content. The tan fabric swayed in the breeze as he made his way over to the Impala. All three got in and headed for the road.

Dean was humming to some ACDC in the background while the other two sat in silence. Sam reached for the radio and Dean instantly smacked his hand away; Sam gave his famous bitch face and muttered,

"Jerk."

Dean looked over to his baby brother and smirked,

"We've gone over this rule way too many times Sammy. Do I have to tell you again?"

He watched as Sam glared and shifted in his seat as he shoved his face in his book; grumbling to himself.

Dean chuckled and glanced up into the rear view mirror; checking in on Cas.

He noticed that he had started doing that a lot lately; checking on him to make sure he was okay. Dean thought it was kind of odd, because he knew Cas wasn't helpless. Hell, he was still an imposing warrior of God, just wingless. He knew he was still strong and could most definitely kick Dean's ass back to Sunday if he wanted too, but he couldn't help it.

Dean frowned when he noticed the pained look on Castiel's face. His forehead was scrunched up into multiple lines as he bent over himself and furiously scratched at his back. He watched in silence as both of Cas's arms stretched and reached back over his shoulders; scraping violently.

Dean pulled over onto the empty stretch of road and put his baby in park. He turned around in his seat to face Cas, and Sam looked up from his book to see what was going on. He turned his head to face Cas as well and asked,

"Dude, are you ok?"

Castiel suddenly stopped mid scratch and looked up to both brothers; finally noticing that he was being stared at.

Dean looked at the angel in concern, waiting for a reply. Castiel hesitantly lowered his arms as his face grew red from embarrassment. Dean didn't know why he would be embarrassed, but he didn't ask.

Cas relaxed in the back seat and said flatly,

"Everything is fine. It was just a small itch."

Both brothers gave each other a look, and Sam shrugged silently. Dean glanced back at Cas one last time as he stared out the window; his face emotionless.

The next few days became strained and odd. Sam would leave for whole days to go investigating, and Dean would be left to face another confusing case of Castiel.

Both sat on the motel bed, eating lunch. Dean stared at the small TV screen as he shoved another onion ring into his mouth. Castiel watched Dean, and occasionally glanced towards the TV as well. The angel wiped his hands on a napkin as he said,

"I find it unbelievable that you are able to consume so much grease and fat on a daily basis, and still stay in perfect health. You have been blessed with a miraculous metabolism Dean."

Dean continued to stare at the TV screen as he chewed with his mouth open,

"Yea, well, I like to think it's because of my perky nipples." Completely oblivious to what Castiel had actually said.

Castiel titled his head at Dean in confusion,

"That does not make any sense, Dean."

Realizing that Dean was captivated by the moving pictures, he gave up conversation and sat next to him in silence. Cas thought about the last time Dean had tickled him. It had only been once, and he had been craving it ever since. That was the last time Dean had embraced him as well. Actually he really hadn't touched him at all since then. He would stay close to keep an eye on him, Cas knew, but never comforted him again. Castiel couldn't seem to shake the feeling of want; finding it perpetually frustrating. Since he had been slightly humanized from sticking around so long, he increasingly craved the feeling of touch. It alarmed him.

Suddenly he felt his back begin to tingle with a searing hot sensation, causing him to squirm. He reached around over his shoulder and began scratching, but the searing itch continued to grow. He frowned in concentration as he continued to scratch, unable to relieve himself.

Dean noticed movement next to him and casually glanced over, startled at the sight.

Cas' eyes went wide in desperation as he ripped off his trench coat and let it fall to the floor in a heap. He quickly stood up and pulled his borrowed t-shirt off over his head in a rush; exposing his bare chest to the bewildered hunter.

Dean, caught off guard by the sight of Cas half naked again, stood up as well and asked cautiously,

"Uh…Cas? What are you doing?"

Castiel practically hugged himself as he scratched at his back violently. His eyes were snapped shut as he dragged his nails dangerously hard down the two zipper-like scars.

Dean slowly put his hands up and stepped closer to his panicking friend,

"Hey calm down."

He reached out and gripped both of Cas's shoulders when he had the chance. Cas' eyes snapped open as he spoke in haste,

"Scratch my back Dean, please!"

Dean saw the pleading look in the angel's eyes as he turned him around, observing his back. Dean barely held back a gasp.

The two scars were bright red and swollen, with droplets of blood oozing out from the path where his nails had been. The scars were raised to an unnatural height and Dean stared at them in shock.

Castiel twitched and let out a small whimper. Dean blinked at the sight,

"What the hell Cas! Why didn't you tell me this was happening?"

The angel desperately reached for his back again but Dean took hold of his arms and tugged him across the room to the other bed. Dean pushed Castiel down onto his stomach on the mattress and grunted with the effort to keep him still,

"You can't scratch these you idiot!"

He heard Cas say something but it was muffled by his face in the pillow. He sighed in exasperation as he snatched up the nearby sheet and quickly began wrapping Castiel's scars so he couldn't touch them.

Once Castiel calmed himself and finally stopped twisting, he lay still as Dean sat on top of him. He turned his head to the side and let out a long breath. He said in a low tone,

"I am not sure what is happening to me Dean. I have heard ancient stories of angel's getting their wings cut off, but I have no knowledge of the after math."

Dean stared down at the angel's back, trying to think of any possibilities. He could feel how tense Cas' body was, and wished that he would just relax for once. Dean could feel Cas trembling from the itch, and wondered if there was a way to distract him. He didn't want Cas to hurt himself any more than he already did.

He suddenly had a thought. It was a crazy thought, for sure, but Dean bit his bottom lip as he mulled over it in his mind. He was glad that Sam was out for the day, because he would never in his entire life let his younger brother see him do what he was about to do.

He hesitantly placed both hands onto Castiel's shoulders, and he felt Cas twitch from the unexpected touch. He tried to turn his head to look up at Dean as he asked,

"Dean what are you do-"

Cas let out a low groan as Dean began massaging his shoulders.

Dean wasn't that skilled in something like this, but he started getting the hang of it. He trailed his hands down along his arms, rubbing the tense muscles. Then he trailed his hands up along both shoulders, kneading the tight knots under his skin. Dean watched as Castiel's face melted into the pillow; letting out another throaty moan. He tried with all of his strength to ignore the sounds escaping Cas' parted lips, and continued on with his business.

His fingers soon found their way up to the angel's neck, gently massaging the base of his skull. To Dean's surprise Castiel gripped the bed sheets tightly with his eyes closed, sighing in relief. He suspected that Cas had never gotten a back massage before.

Suddenly Cas stretched, lifting his butt in the process, resulting with him accidentally grinding against Dean's groin.

Cas didn't notice, but Dean sure did.

Dean held back a yelp as his face burned hot. _Holy shit holy shit holy shit. _Dean continued to massage as he bit his lip. That was _not_ supposed to feel as good as it did.

Dean wasn't expecting Sam to return until nightfall, and jumped when the motel door flew open, letting in midday light.

Sam was carrying a pile of books and stopped mid walk as he took in the whole scene. It wasn't really even that bad, it was just…surprising to him. This was something Sam never thought he would ever see Dean doing, especially with Cas.

Sam's eyebrows rose in surprise, staring at his beat red brother as he sat on top of the moaning angel who was pawing at the sheets like a cat; obviously unaware of the sudden intrusion.

Dean froze, trying desperately to think of something to say, and said angrily,

"He's-He's having a bad day okay!"

Sam's lips tightened, trying to hold back a grin, and turned right back around and closed the door behind him.


	11. Black And Blue

Dean had to resort to putting bandages on Castiel's back again, just to keep him from scratching his own skin off. Cas had protested but Dean told him it was for his own good; ending the conversation.

After a few days on the road, all three of them had driven to Bobby's. Sam and Dean were becoming increasingly concerned with Castiel's back, and decided it would be best to take refuge at the safest place they knew. Besides the impala, Bobby's house was practically their home.

The angel had two large lumps forming where the scars had been, and they continued to grow day by day. When Dean had given Cas one of his looser shirts to put on before they left, he had looked down at the cloth in his hands, and gave Dean a desperate look. Dean had noticed how his eyebrows drew together and how his lips formed a tight line. Dean knew what he was saying; it had never even occurred to him that maybe a shirt stretched over those lumps would cause him pain. So he took the shirt back from his hands, and Cas sighed a quiet thank you.

So Dean had let the angel go shirtless. But Castiel had still put the trench coat on, knowing that the loose fabric would cause his scars no harm.

He and Sam had occasionally turned around in their seats to check on him; making sure that he wasn't practically tearing his skin off.

Cas would hunch over in the back seat and hold his head in his hands. Sam had given Dean his puppy dog eyes as he turned around and hesitantly patted the pained angel on the shoulder.

Dean had already told Bobby the whole story about the angel's return. He was a bit weary at first, but finally agreed to let the boys bring him to the house.

It was evening, and Dean was lying on the extra couch that was placed in the guest room, sighing to himself in the dark. He shifted his butt as he propped his head up onto the arm rest, trying to find a comfortable spot. On the other side of the room was Castiel, lying on his stomach on the roomy guest bed.

Earlier when Dean had told Bobby that he would be staying in the same room as the angel, he had raised his eyebrows in surprise and said gruffly,

"Well okay mama bear, whatever you say. Just don't expect me to put on my nurses cap and sit alongside with ya."

Dean smiled lightly at the memory, beginning to drift off back to sleep. He could hear the distant hum of thousands of crickets outside surrounding the house. It was so peaceful that Dean almost forgot for a second that Cas was going through some weird angel mutation that he couldn't explain. The sound of Castiel's breathing lulled him even further into sleep.

What seemed to be a few minutes later, he thought he heard the padding of feet quickly shuffling across the wood floor; making a b-line for the bathroom.

He was awoken by the sound of the bathroom door slamming and the door locking.

Dean shot upright on the couch, trying to rub the sleep from his eyes. He instantly looked over to the door outlined in golden light from inside when he heard Cas violently retching. Dean jumped up and ran over to the door; grabbing the handle and twisting it trying to get in. To his dismay it was locked.

Dean pounded on the door with his fist and yelled,

"Cas open this door right now!"

He didn't know why he was freaking out so much, but he just was.

He could hear Cas throwing up again through the door, gasping and groaning. He heard him whimper in pain and Dean slapped his hand to the door,

"Cas please, open the door."

To Dean's horror he suddenly heard a loud thump as something heavy smacked the floor. A shattering silence ensued. Dean couldn't hear anything but his own heavy breathing as the pressure threatened to suffocate him. He put his ear to the door and croaked,

"Cas?"

To his relief he finally heard something being dragged across the tiled floor, followed by a loud click of the lock. Dean threw the door open to see Castiel lying on his stomach on the bathroom floor, laboring for breath in front of the door. But what caught Dean's eye that made him freeze, was something completely different.

Tiny little black feathers were protruding from the angel's back; twitching and flapping slightly. Dean's eyes grew as he whispered in shock,

"Holy shit."

He quickly knelt down at Cas' side and pulled him up into a sitting position. His head was hanging lazily and his eyes were hooded; he looked exhausted. Dean lifted Cas' face with both hands,

"Cas? Cas, hey buddy you okay?"

The angel looked at Dean with groggy eyes as he forced a whisper,

"My back…it _hurt_, it was too much…"

Dean gazed back, trying to keep Cas focused on his eyes,

"Does it still hurt?"

Cas paused for a moment, as if unsure, then replied,

"…No…only sore."

Dean cupped the angel's cheek and smiled,

"Cas your wings are back! That's what was causing your back to swell, they're growing again!"

Castiel's hazy blue eyes went wide with realization as he looked up into the hunter's excited green ones. He quickly stumbled to his feet, Dean gripping his arm so he wouldn't fall, and stood up to stare at his back in the mirror; his mouth hung open in disbelief. Dean stood up as well, examining his friend's back with a similar expression of wonder.

The dark feathers were so tiny and delicate. There were only a few, but at least it was a start. Whenever Dean had thought of Castiel's wings, he had never been sure what color they could be. But these tiny little black wings were so beautiful. When the light hit them just right, they seemed to change to a deep rich blue. Dean blushed at the thought, but they were the same as Cas' eyes. He liked it better than the stereotypical white. He watched Castiel's face as he made them twitch and quiver, and his curious eyes became glossy.

Dean asked in concern,

"Do they hurt?"

Castiel shook his head slightly; turning to face Dean in the small room,

"I am just…I am, very happy."

The angel turned to the mirror to look again, whispering low,

"I am unable to describe what I am feeling Dean."

Dean saw a hint of a smile form on Cas' full lips.


	12. Touch Them

Sam and Bobby stormed into the bedroom; sawed off shotgun and knife at the ready. Sam's eyes peered back and forth from the angel to his brother, who was currently examining his back, and frantically asked,

"Dean! What's going on?"

Dean looked up at the two panicked hunters from where he and Cas sat; perched on the bed. He held his hand up to signal it was alright,

"Hey hey hey everything's fine, just come over here and look at this."

Dean couldn't help but notice the worry lines that formed on Castiel's tired face as Sam approached. He lowered his knife and put it away as he approached the two. Cas hunched his shoulders as he glanced anxiously at the younger brother, reluctantly turning his back to put them on display. The tall hunter had to take a second look; his eyebrows rose in surprise and curiosity,

"Whoa. Now I've seen everything."

Bobby could see the tiny wings as well, and lowered his shotgun in exasperation, saying sarcastically,

"Dammit you two, next time you start yellin' and banging on doors and stomping on the floor let us know you're not getting your intestines ripped out by a demon, will ya?"

The three of them watched Bobby turn as he retreated out through the door; huffing as he walked away,

"Now keep it down! Some of us wanna get some damn rest around here."

Both brothers chuckled to themselves as they turned back to Castiel, whose tiny wings had suddenly disappeared. Sam sputtered loudly,

"Castiel! Your-" He pointed towards the bare, smooth skin of his back. Dean stared, confused as hell.

Castiel gave them a blank look,

"I have hidden them, Sam, like I used to in the past."

Sam looked around in confusion,

"But why?"

Dean watched as Castiel stared down at his lap sheepishly; fingers playing with the corner of the blanket. His voice became low and quiet,

"I only displayed them for you and Bobby once, so you would know. But…" His eyes flicked up towards Sam,

"It's a very intimate thing to show, to anyone."

Sam ran his hand back through his hair from the awkward declaration, "Oh. I see, sorry Cas I didn't know."

The angel's eyebrows furrowed together in guilt, "It's alright Sam. It is nothing personal. It's just-"

Sam put his hand up in understanding, "No, it's okay Cas, I get it, really."

Dean could feel his own eyeballs rolling so far back into his skull he was sure he could see his brain by now. He stood up from the bed and pushed his younger brother out into the hall; shutting the door behind him. Sam leaned up against the wall in the shadows of the hall as he said quietly, "Well this is new."

Dean grunted in agreement as he crossed his bare arms, "Yea you're tellin' me."

Sam looked at him, "So will he be able to return to heaven, after they fully grow back?"

Dean sighed as he rubbed his own face, "I don't know Sammy."

Morning light streamed in through the kitchen window and left streaks across the entire room. It was early in the morning and Dean was downstairs at the kitchen table. He had stolen Sam's laptop earlier to do some research on the leviathan, Dick Roman, and he rubbed his eyes in frustration as he heard someone slowly coming towards the kitchen.

He looked up from where he sat to see Castiel emerge through the walkway, wearing nothing but a pair of low riding navy blue sweatpants. He looked like he had just gotten into a fight with his pillow, and his eyes squinted over at Dean. Cas nodded grumpily to him in greeting and padded over to the fridge.

Dean involuntarily sat up straighter at the sight. He would never admit it out loud, but he secretly liked it whenever he trudged around shirtless. It made him look more…human and approachable, even if he _was_ a morning grump. He also noticed how Cas was still emotionless and blank, but was now gaining human emotional behavior. He was becoming a hybrid of sorts. Dean liked that.

Dean watched him as he casually walked by. His eyes focused on his messy dark hair, tufts sticking out in all different directions, and trailed his sight along the profile of Castiel's face, down to his nicely sculpted chest and slim lower back; finally zooming in and settling on his ass as he bent over to open the fridge…

Dean shook his head and looked away as he mentally cursed himself; trying to ignore the fact that he had totally just creeped on his best friend, much less his rear. Dean cleared his throat,

"Hey Cas?"

Castiel turned to Dean; his hand on the open refrigerator door,

"Yes Dean?"

Dean rubbed the back of his neck as the angel watched him. Cas still did that weird staring thing that he used to do. But Dean didn't mind that much anymore, that's what made him _Cas._

"Uh, do you mind if I see your wings again?"

There was a pause as his face went blank. Dean knew what he had asked, and he knew that it was intimate. But he was so curious about them, he was curious because this was something about Cas that he was unfamiliar with. He just hoped that Cas would be willing to share something new with him.

Finally to the hunter's relief Castiel gave a small smile and nodded his head.

He turned back around to stick his face in the fridge, as if nothing were different. But now Dean could see a tiny pair of black glossy wings resting against the angel's frame. The wings had become miraculously larger; now twice their size. They were growing fast, but they were still very small. He thought it was weird how angels could make their wings pop in and out of existence, but yet still be there. That was something he didn't want to try to wrap his head around.

Suddenly before Dean could say anything, he saw Sam strutting into the kitchen; his long legs carrying him across the wooden floor in record time. He was casually munching on a bagel as his face was shoved inside of who knows what type of book.

Castiel hadn't noticed and was continuing to turn as Sam unintentionally slammed right into his back.

The bagel and book went flying as Sam put his hands up to stop the sudden impact; accidentally rubbing his hands down the angel's glossy feathers.

Castiel's eyes went wide in horror as he dropped the carton of milk; arching his back forward. He yelped loudly as he jumped a few feet forward crashing into the counter cabinets.

Dean shot up from where he was sitting and rushed over to him. Before he could make it over Castiel quickly jumped back to his feet; his whole body a dark shade of red. He stared at the two stunned hunters and quickly wiped a hand over his face; finally running out of the room in silence.

Dean shot a glare over at his younger brother, who was still standing there with his hands up, eyes wide. Sam looked around at the mess and cringed,

"Oops?"

Dean growled in frustration,

"Nice going moose!"

And with that he stormed out of the room after Cas.

When Dean finally made it to the guest room, he slowly cracked the door open, finding the flustered angel sitting tensely on the edge of the bed, gripping the sheets until his knuckles were white. Dean saw his face contort into a deep frown as he shook, he stepped closer to him,

"Hey, what the hell was that all about?"

Castiel didn't look at him; he continued to stare at the faded wall.

"I shouldn't have exposed my wings so willingly, knowing full well that anyone could've walked in at any second." He turned his head away, "And they did. Sam did."

Dean didn't really know what to say. Yes he knew that displaying wings was an intimate thing, but he wasn't expecting him to freak out so badly when Sam accidentally touched them. Dean gave the angel a smirk as he took a step closer,

"Don't worry Cas. Sam's got it coming; paybacks a bitch."

Castiel's head jerked up to Dean's direction as he said hoarsely,

"No Dean. It was not Sam's fault, he didn't know. He does not know what touching them means. I was my fault; I was being careless. I have already forgiven him."

Dean was about to reply with a smart-ass remark when he suddenly paused in thought. Dean didn't know what touching them meant either.

Dean's eyes observed the angel's odd behavior again and his gaze suddenly snapped down to the bulge in-between Castiel's legs. Dean tried to swallow but his throat was dry.

What the hell…

Dean shifted as he stood and cleared his throat, motioning to the angel with a tilt of his head.

"Uh, Cas, you uh, have a bit of a problem…down there."

Castiel didn't need to look down, he already knew.

He hurriedly stood up and rushed into the bathroom, closing the door behind himself. Leaving the bewildered hunter standing there wondering what the hell just happened.


	13. I'm Not Jealous

After that whole mishap with Castiel's wings, he had refused to leave the security of the guest room ever since.

Usually Dean would've thrown a fit and threatened to drag the angel back out the door by his ankles again, but he actually didn't mind this time. Because now he knew that Cas and his newborn wings were safe.

Dean frowned at his own thoughts as he strutted around the house, looking for Sam. He passed Bobby who was making calls, and made rounds around the living room and whole downstairs. He finally found himself almost passing Castiel's bedroom door, but at the sound of two male voices, he paused. He stepped back and leaned closer to the old door, listening.

He heard muffled speech coming from the other side, and to his surprise he heard Sam's voice; barely audible,

"Hey, could you stretch out a little farther?"

Dean threw the door open to see Castiel's startled eyes staring over at him. Dean's gaze snapped directly over to Sam to see exactly what he was doing.

He was writing in a tiny black journal.

Castiel shifted on the bed,

"Hello Dean."

Sam was sitting behind him, analyzing one of his outstretched wings as he wrote in the tiny leather clad book.

Dean observed the scene, at took a double take at Cas' wings. He hadn't seen them since Sam had run into them, and he was pleasantly surprised at the sight of the large gorgeous feathers. They were growing at an obscene rate.

Each one was close to being six foot long; practically the same length as Dean. Castiel's left wing was displayed out for Sam who observed them, and he could see spaces in between the lower black feathers.

Sudden jealousy crept to the front of his mind, making his chest tingle with a slow burn. Cas had never let him touch his wings, or observe them as closely, and as _intimately_ as Sam was.

Dean sputtered, "Wha-what is this?"

The younger brother tapped his pencil against his lips as he calmly glanced toward his flustered sibling,

"I'm taking notes on his wings."

Dean raised his eyebrows and said sarcastically,

"Taking notes?"

Sam sighed in annoyance as he continued sketching in the journal,

"I've always been curious about angel anatomy, and this is the perfect opportunity for me to study the wings growing patterns." He gestured towards Cas' left wing without looking up from the book, "Being able to personally inspect them like this is a rare chance and Cas was gracious enough to let me do this."

Dean wiped his hands on his jeans and grunted,

"Nerd."

Sam ignored the comment and scanned through his paperwork, glancing at the back of Castiel's head,

"Alright, I think I've gotten everything. Thanks Cas."

"You're welcome Sam."

Sam snapped the book closed and stood up; walking passed Dean with a smug expression.

Dean watched as his sasquatch of a brother walked out of the room and down the hall. He turned back to see Castiel still sitting on the edge of the bed; his wings had vanished.

Dean knew he was being a big baby but crossed his arms anyway,

"Oh what, now I can't see them?"

Castiel gazed up at Dean with slight annoyance, not quit understanding the odd, irrational form of human behavior Dean was displaying.

"I don't know what you mean Dean? Sam only needed to do some research."

Dean scowled at the confused angel,

"I thought you said it was an _intimate_ thing to show somebody. Last time you flipped a freakin' nut when Sam was around." Dean couldn't believe he was still talking, "What do you have the hots for him now or something?"

_Fucking Hell_.

Castiel stood up while he grabbed one of Dean's old t shirts and said,

"I do not quit understand the term _hots_ as you say," His voice became muffled as he lifted his arms to pull the shirt over his head, "But if you do mean what I think you mean, then no I do not have any type of sexual relations with Sam."

Dean cringed at the words _sexual_ and _Sam_ being in the same sentence. Dean couldn't believe that they were actually talking about this, but Dean was the one who had started it. His eyes flicked down to the slight V-line that showed itself on Castiel's lower stomach while he tugged at his shirt. Dean ran a hand back through his own hair,

"Well…how come Sam then? You seemed pretty damn set on never revealing them to anyone ever again."

Castiel quickly thought about his words; licking his dry lips in the process,

"I wouldn't of if he had never touched them. But he did. And it changed the circumstances, in a way."

Dean was about to ask how in the world that would've changed anything, but Castiel suddenly spoke again,

"Isn't there a case that needs working on, Dean?"

Dean paused, was he being shooed off? If there was a hint of a blush on the angel's face, Dean didn't notice.

"Um, yea. There is actually..."

Castiel shifted his gaze away from Dean's,

"Then I believe you should go help Sam with that."

Dean narrowed his eyes in suspicion but turned and walked away.


	14. Would You Groom Them

It felt as if time were flying by. Dean and Sam would work a case, Castiel's wings would continue to grow, Dean put Nair in Sam's shampoo, and Bobby would scold them. It was all becoming a simple and satisfying routine.

Dean was sitting on the back porch drinking a beer, deep in thought. He couldn't quite believe it, but things actually hadn't been that bad, counting only the last few weeks. But honestly Dean would take whatever he could get. May that be laughing a couple times during the week, seeing Cas give a hint of a smile, or having a casual night drinking a beer with the whole gang.

His thoughts then drifted to Cas. He still couldn't figure out why he was being so sketchy when it came to his wings. Dean had attempted to use his charm to get him to tell him why he didn't want anyone to touch them, but the angel would just blush and turn all stony faced; changing the subject. Cas obviously didn't get what charm was.

Dean chuckled quietly to himself. Maybe one day he could teach Castiel how to work some charm.

Wouldn't that be something?

It was another early morning and Dean could still see some dew covering the patchy ground. He pulled his jean jacket up higher on himself, trying to hold in some warmth for there was still a slight chill in the newborn day.

He stiffly stood up, groaning and stretching his sore muscles. Once he heard his back crack he sighed in relief as he began wandering around random classic cars splattered across the junk yard.

Still lost in thought, he found himself looping back around to the house. Once he finally made his way back to the porch, he stopped when he heard Sam talking to Castiel off in the distance. He stepped quietly across the damp dirt and peeked around the corner.

A bit of a ways off in a grassy clearing were Sam and Cas, conversing in the morning light. Streaks of pink and orange still hung in the sky as he intently watched and listened.

Sam held both hands up as he motioned to the angel on how to properly hold a gun. Castiel nodded in understanding, remembering when he had used a gun once before with Sam and Bobby as they fought off the delivery of the new croatoan virus. Sam bent over, picking up a rifle. Dean watched as Castiel held the gun up into a firing position. Sam stood close by and pointed towards different parts of the gun explaining each function.

Finally Sam pointed off towards an empty beer bottle perched on a stump not too far off. He patted his shoulder and stepped back. Dean narrowed his eyes.

Castiel fired a shot and the glass shattered into a flurry of pieces; sparkling in the reflected sunlight as tiny fragments fell to the ground.

Castiel had not been expecting the kick though. He had forgotten about it and it was something Sam had forgotten to mention. The angel flew backwards and fell flat onto his back, staring up at the sky.

Sam cringed and trotted over to him, reaching down and giving him his hand. And to Dean's surprise Cas began to laugh. Sam smiled down at his reaction as he helped him to his feet.

"Sorry Cas!"

Castiel wiped his hands onto his shirt while still holding a small smile,

"You are forgiven Sam. That was, exciting."

Sam ran his hand back through his hair and motioned towards the shattered bottle,

"You're a great shot."

He then tossed the gun to the side and said,

"Alright, I think we should duel; fisticuffs."

Castiel tilted his head in slight confusion,

"I do not think that would be wise Sam. I am still an angel. I know how to defend myself."

Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head,

"Yea but trust me, after all that time, you know, you're probably _really_ rusty!"

Castiel paused and shrugged his shoulders, something he picked up from Dean, and crouched down while putting his fists up. Sam did the same. Dean was intrigued, and mildly fearing for the worst.

Sam threw the first punch, missing Castiel's face by inches. Cas' reflexes were amazing, but Dean could tell he was being easy on his little brother.

Sam continued to attack, while Castiel spun out of the way. Sam turned and missed Cas again just by mere inches, and then the angel quickly spun to the right and stopped abruptly as his fist was inches from Sam's tender side. The young hunter turned to face him,

"Looks like you're not as rusty after all."

Castiel commented humbly as they continued to circle each other,

"I still do not have full access to my angelic abilities, and it feels a bit odd being as slow as I am, but yes I am not _that_ rusty."

Sam laughed and shook his head in disbelief.

They continued to duel as Dean watched from afar. He wouldn't admit it, but he felt a bit hurt, surprisingly. Out of all people, Dean thought Cas would've asked him. Dean had cared for him, comforted him, nursed him back to health, spent every waking hour with him, _made himself feel really uncomfortable for him_, and he chose Sam for this. Something like that was important to Dean; he was the one who taught Sam. He also wanted to be the one who taught Cas.

Dean chewed on his lip as he wondered if he was over-reacting.

Both men had been going at it for a while, there was false punch after punch, and Dean could tell Cas was begging to get sloppy.

Castiel ducked and quickly sidestepped the blow from Sam's fist. He was about to dash to his side to get him in the back, but Sam had been observing his moves, and expected it beforehand.

Sam quickly spun around. The angel's face had been much closer than expected, and before Sam could stop himself his fist slammed right into the side of Castiel's face.

Cas was still like marble, but he wasn't fully charged with his angel mojo either. Sam yelped and held his fist as Castiel stumbled and fell to one knee; holding his face. The blow would've knocked a human out cold.

Dean cringed.

Sam suddenly realized what had happened and reached out for the angel. Castiel stiffly stood up on his own while holding the side of his reddening face. He looked up at Sam with an expression of awe,

"I have never had a human punch be so…staggering."

Sam's lips tightened as he tried to hold back a snort, but failed miserably. He burst into laughter,

"Dude you have the weirdest reactions to things."

Castiel smiled and put his hand down,

"I think we should go inside now."

Sam put his hand on Castiel's shoulder as they began walking toward Dean's direction, still smiling,

"Yea that sounds like a good idea."

Dean grumbled to himself as he disappeared into the junk yard,

"Well they're gettin' real chummy aren't they."

The next day…

Dean felt horribly ignored. Each time he tried to do something remotely fun with Cas he would create an excuse and turn down his offer. Dean would later find him with Sam.

He also noticed that when they slept in the same room together, Castiel would wear a shirt. Before, even after his wings had begun to grow, he would simply strut around with his chest bare. Now he kept himself covered.

Dean was trying to figure it out, and he was still in denial that he was actually even doing it, but he would _accidentally_ bump into him, brush his hand against his, try to rough house or hell, _even tickle him_, just to have him shrink away and find Sam.

Dean felt like he was some type of grotesque monster.

Dean had finished his third beer before heading into the guest room, slightly buzzed, but not feeling much different than before. He also felt exhausted. He had just completed a case by himself while the two little boys went off to play.

He grumbled to himself as he opened the door, scratching his jaw as he went to close it. He turned and paused when he saw Castiel facing away from him on the edge of the bed; huge black glossy wings hanging limply from his back and draping over where he sat. They seemed to be fully grown. All of the lights were out except for moonlight cascading in through the window and filling up the room in a pale haze.

Dean noticed how his head hung low and he cleared his throat, making his presence known. His own voice sounded a bit rough in the silence as he took a curious step forward,

"Cas, you ok?"

Castiel didn't move, but whispered in a low tone,

"I have a problem Dean."

Dean stepped even closer to the statue-like figure perched on the bed,

"Yea? What's the problem?"

Even moonlight couldn't hide the dark shade of red that tinted Castiel's skin. Dean didn't know why he was blushing, and the troubled angel stole a few quick glances over as Dean practically hovered over him. Cas' hands began to shake as he tried to hide them, fearing that Dean would see,

"I…I was afraid that this might happen." He let out a long, slow breath. "Angels have customs. We, groom each other whenever one is in need. It…could almost be considered a private ritual that we all participate in."

Dean paused,

"Oh, okay. And?"

Castiel bit his lower lip, looking away,

"…We ourselves cannot do it. Well, it is terribly difficult, to do it ourselves. And, I need my wings groomed." He finally turned to look up at Dean, his eyes wide and pleading,

"Would you groom them for me Dean?"


	15. Breathe Me In

Dean peered at him, puzzled, as his brain replayed what Castiel had asked of him over and over in a rush of excitement and fear. He would get to touch the wings. But, Cas had given Dean the mega cold shoulder over the past few days, making it obvious that he didn't want Dean anywhere near him. So why was he asking this of him? Dean cleared his throat in annoyance,

"Why don't you ask Sam to do it?"

Dean didn't wait for a response as he started to turn towards the couch. Castiel gaped at him as he sauntered by, creases lining his forehead.

"…I would prefer that you do it, Dean."

Dean huffed out an angry breath as he reached down and unfolded the blankets that lay across the couch,

"I don't care what you _prefer_, Cas. You've made it pretty clear that you don't want me around."

Castiel shook his head in earnest,

"I don't know what you're talking about." He lied, he did know.

Dean stopped what he was doing and ran a hand over his face, turning to look back,

"Really, Cas? I barely see you anymore, you're always off on some little rendezvous with Sammy, ignoring-" He paused and quickly turned away from the piercing gaze of his friend, "Forget it. Just go ask Sam." He felt a tug in his chest as he spoke, unaware of the angel beginning to panic,

"No, please! That would be-"

"Be what?" He snapped at him, glancing back behind his shoulder.

Castiel frowned as his eyes bored into Dean's own,

"That would be, most uncomfortable for me. When angels choose their grooming partner..." He looked away, "They choose the one sibling, _person_, who they feel most comfortable with; most accepted by." His voice quieted, "We share a profound bond. That is why I chose you Dean." Castiel failed to mention that when they choose a grooming partner, it's with someone who they love. You can love a sibling platonically, but with Dean…with _human_ Dean, it is much different.

Dean didn't know what to think at this point. He was frustrated as hell, but seeing Cas so upset was making it harder to stay angry with every passing second. So instead he asked the most important question,

"Why have you been ignoring me Cas?"

Cas looked up at the tense hunter, his thoughtful blue eyes staring directly into anxious green ones. His voice was gravely,

"I have not been attempting to ignore you Dean. But, I…" He blinked, "Whenever you are near…my vessel, feels different. I, I am unable to explain such humanly things."

There was a long pause as a sudden realization hit the hunter. He swallowed against the dryness of his throat as it all started to fit into place. He almost didn't believe it.

Castiel had become nervous around him. For a reason he was afraid to think about. Cas felt at ease with his brother because…because…

He was an escape route.

Shit.

He felt his heart rate suddenly increase, and he became highly aware of the blood pumping through his veins, and the sound of his breathing. Dean tried to speak, but nothing came out, so he snapped his mouth shut.

This was ridiculous! Dean didn't-he wouldn't-but _Cas. _

He looked over to see Cas staring at him expectantly. Dean choked,

"Oh."

_Oh. Oh?_

This was too much. Cas' shoulders hunched as he shrunk in on himself, wishing Dean would leave the room. He glanced back at him, and without even realizing it, stuck out his bottom lip into a pout. Dean groaned,

"Ohhh no, don't give me that damn look."

Castiel tilted his head slightly, still holding the hunter's gaze. That did it.

Dean threw his arms up and sat down on the bed, sighing in defeat. They could figure this out later, but right now Cas needed his help.

Dean turned on the mattress to face Castiel's back and wings. He stared for a bit, thinking. He finally began to reach out, but suddenly stopped. He looked down at his hands to see that they were shaking. Dean wiped the palms of his sweaty hands onto his pants; he had never touched Cas' wings before.

He watched one of Castiel's wings twitch as he he whispered to the back of his head,

"Dammit Cas, tell me what to do."

The angel's voice was quiet and low,

"It is similar to the way a human brushes their hair, or if they groom a pet." His wings stretched out a bit further, reaching for Dean, "You can use your fingers." Castiel hoped that this wouldn't feel the way that he feared. He desperately needed his wings groomed, and he hoped that this would simply be similar to his grooming sessions with his siblings.

Dean pursed his lips at the description, but he got the idea. He watched in awe as Castiel unfurled his wings even farther, displaying them in their full glory in front of him. He took a slow breath, and hesitantly ran a hand gently over the black feathers.

He jerked his hand away when Castiel jumped and shivered. Dean couldn't see but Cas had quickly bit his lip to stifle a surprised moan. He had failed to tell Dean that in the past, when he would be groomed by other close angels, he wouldn't feel this type of pleasure, it was always strictly business. But with Dean, it was a whole new experience. He couldn't hold it back.

Dean slowly reached forward again and began running his fingers through the silky layers. He stared in astonishment as he straightened each feather, placing them back into their correct spot. It was almost as if he was feeling the infinite night sky; as if he were running his hands throughout the expanse of the universe.

It was fucking awesome.

They were soft, and his slightly calloused hands glided smoothly across them. He could feel the wings trembling at every touch, and he assumed it was because Cas was nervous, or something. He glanced down towards Castiel's hands to see that he was gripping the sheets without mercy. Dean leaned forward and whispered into the shell of his ear,

"Dude, relax. I don't bite."

Dean returned to his work and missed what Cas had mumbled hoarsely,

"That is not what I am concerned about."

Dean began running his hands through the underside of each wing, checking for any out of place feathers. He was startled by a loud moan.

He froze and looked up to see Castiel's head hanging lower than before, his chest puffing in and out for each breath. Dean didn't quite realize just what he was doing to the angel, or how much pleasure it was giving him. He still thought Cas was just nervous, and it must've felt like a massage to him, hence the happy noises. Dean knew that he still needed to relax; and he began to feel a bit mischievous.

Maybe he could get some payback for Cas making him feel like shit. The teasing shall ensue.

Dean smirked to himself as he caressed the length of both wings, making Cas gasp and arch his back in surprise. His fingers soon found their way down towards the base where his wings formed into his back, touching the soft plumage that fluffed out. He heard Cas whimper from the contact so he began puffing up his wings harshly. Castiel began shaking and trembling as another throaty moan escaped his lips. His body was covered in a sheen of sweat as Dean teased him mercilessly.

Dean was in denial of what was going on. He knew exactly what he was doing, but refused to think about it. The heat pooling in his gut stopped him from thinking minutes ago anyway. Completely enraptured with the sight of Castiel falling apart before him, he leaned in and gave one of the angel's quivering wings a delicate kiss.

Castiel gasped breathlessly again, practically falling backwards onto Dean's lap.

Dean soon realized just how much he was getting into this. His hands stroked each individual feather relentlessly as he stared at the gasping, panting and writhing angel.

He wished he could see him from the front, see his face.

As if in answer to his silent call, Castiel whipped around on the bed, his wings still displayed out tensely. They both stared at each other as Castiel panted, and Dean could feel his own cock getting hard.

Dean never thought that this could happen. He was unsure of what he was feeling, but he couldn't get himself to move away.

Something washed over him as he gazed into Castiel's lust blown eyes as he crawled over the mattress to Dean. His heartbeat thumped painfully against his chest as the angel's face drifted closer. Their heavy breathing was all that filled the room.

Dean closed his eyes as he felt Castiel's hot breath ghost over his face.

Dean wanted so badly to lean in, to experience something so completely foreign. He had thought about men before, wondered what it would be like. But he could never get himself to go through with it. Oh God. And then there was Cas, who was unlike anybody else he had ever known. Dean had thought of him before, and short, small fantasies would flit by before he would snap that door shut and throw away the key. But he didn't just want it, he craved it. It was like a hungry passion bubbling up from within, telling him it was okay.

No.

Yes.

No.

Yes.

What if this ruined their friendship? Cas was the most important friend that he ever had, who wasn't a brother. Dean didn't want to screw with that...No matter how badly he wanted this; he didn't want Cas to be a part of this any more than he already was.

Dean rested his forehead against Castiel's while his thoughts were in turmoil. The angel's hands hesitantly cupped Dean's face as his glorious wings gingerly wrapped around the hunter, containing them both in a feathery fortress.

Castiel could finally display his own affection towards Dean the way he had always wanted to in the past.

As their foreheads pressed together, with Dean's face in Castiel's hands, Cas ghosted his lips over Dean's.

They were so close.

He was about to let go of all of his fears when suddenly Dean pushed out of the embrace, opening his wing cocoon as he fell back.

Dean felt goose bumps form all over his body as the chill of the air hit him. He stumbled back and cursed himself for his clumsiness.

He stared at the ground as he stood and backed up towards the door, unable to look Cas in the face.

"I'm so sorry Cas."

And with that he disappeared out of the room.

Shocked from the magnitude of the rejection, Castiel silently cried in the solitude of his room.


	16. Goodbye Dean

Dean kept trying to convince himself that he had done the right thing, but an inkling of something inside continued to scream at him, telling him that he had done something horribly wrong.

He stood in front of Castiel's door, staring at the random scratches that covered the paint. He had slept outside in the impala trying to think things through the previous night, and came to a conclusion.

Dean knew that what he did was horrible and cruel. He had led Cas on way after it was too late, and he couldn't explain why. He had been disgusted with himself hours after the disastrous moment, and still was.

Cas had opened himself up to him, and Dean coldly shoved it right back into his face. A year or so ago, Castiel wouldn't of even expressed a single action depicting what he was feeling, much less say it, and when he finally did Dean had completely ruined it.

This was all so unexpected and Dean hardly knew how to deal with it. He was fucking terrified.

He ran a hand over his face wearily. He hadn't gotten any sleep last night in his baby. He couldn't get his brain to shut off. Even the booze didn't help this time.

Dean was a jack-ass.

He swallowed his pride and knocked on the door softly.

Silence.

He knocked again, paused, and followed up with another.

Silence.

Dean frowned with suspicion. He knew Cas was in there, so he slowly opened the door; the hinges creaked as he moved it aside.

He locked eyes with Castiel as soon as he turned around, who was standing in the center of the room, dressed in his original attire.

He wore his black suit and tie, with his white dress shirt underneath, following with the iconic trench coat draping over his figure.

The bed was made, and all of Dean's clothes he had let Cas borrow were folded neatly on the nearby couch. Dean looked around before his gaze snapped back to the angel, panic beginning to sink in.

"What the hell is going on? You decide to go all house keeper on me?"

Dean was trying to keep the mood light, but the intense look Castiel gave him shriveled up that chance. His face was blank,

"I have a mission Dean. I am obviously in no need of your care anymore; I am in healthy condition, so I have decided to seek out the angels who tortured me."

There was a long pause as Dean gaped at him, frantically trying to think of the right words to say. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

No.

Please don't leave, again.

Dean stepped forward and slightly rose his hands, speaking cautiously,

"Cas, wait, you can't just go all revenge on their asses, they'll kill you! You couldn't stop them last time, how do you think you'll stop them again?"

Castiel titled his head down and looked at him; his raptor glare making Dean hold his breath. Dean remembered why he was often referred to as a warrior of God. He felt incredibly small under his powerful gaze.

Castiel blinked,

"I will find a way. I was vulnerable at the time, but I no longer am."

Dean took a step forward, his heart beginning to race,

"No! You can't do this Cas, you can't-" He was about to say you can't leave me.

Castiel turned slightly as his voice became threatening,

"I will do what I have too Dean. You can't stop me.

Dean reached out towards him,

"Cas-"

"Goodbye Dean."

And with that Castiel instantly vanished out of the room.


	17. Changes

Dean knew it was pointless, but he kept on trying.

"Cas!"

He stomped around the junk yard as he yelled at the sky, kicking any old scraps of metal that dared to get in his way.

It was the second day after Castiel's departure, and Dean continued to pray to him, not being able to do anything else. Cas was in heaven, and Dean knew there was no way to get him back now.

Cas was gone. Again.

He hated what he was feeling, it was repeating in a whole new way.

Dean chewed his lip angrily as he thought. Could he have even gone through with it? Could he have…would he have…actually kis-

He couldn't even finish his own thoughts.

He was Dean fucking Winchester. He's the ladies' man, he likes women, and he has sex _with women_.

But of course, Dean was adventurous, and he had always been sexually curious. He had never actually gone through with _certain_ things, he would push them aside and deny himself the possibilities, but Cas brought those things out of him nonetheless.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck._

Dean grumbled to himself that he was an idiot.

The one thing that he was most concerned about was Castiel fighting for revenge. It's not that he didn't believe that the angel was kick ass, because holy hell he was, but because he knew that the gang of angels gone bad were going to ruin him. Destroy him. He understood deep down that this wasn't going to go over well. Dean couldn't bare the thought of Cas wingless and falling all over again.

That would be too much.

A sudden rush of anger overwhelmed him. He tugged at his hair as he desperately looked around trying to find release before it was too much. He picked up a nearby crowbar and began beating on the empty shell of a car mercilessly. Remembering when he had done this years ago made him even angrier, because he knew that there was no other way for him to let out his fury without hurting someone he loved. He yelled as he pounded into the dull steal,

"Cas! You son of a bitch!"

He didn't know how long he continued to shatter glass and bust in doors. But once he began to feel his arms weaken, he threw the crowbar, falling to his knees in exhaustion.

He listened to his own tired breathing as he stared at the cloud of dust and dirt beneath him. A distant clank of the crowbar sliced through the quiet air as it hit something while pummeling to the ground.

Dean tilted his head even lower and was startled when he saw tiny droplets of liquid hit the dirt. He looked up towards the darkening blue sky in confusion; when suddenly a soft shower began to fall towards the earth. He angrily wiped his face on the back of his hand while warm evening rain poured down and trickled over his skin. Dean hated how weak he was being; he hated all of this.

Delicate rain drops dripped from his lashes as he sat on the ground. He closed his eyes when harsh memories came flooding back.

Dean should've rushed back into that room. He should've went back to Cas and told him that it was alright, that everything was fine and they'd figure it out.

Even though he still didn't know if things _could_ be figured out.

Something was changing in him. Past Dean would've smirked and laughed at this whole ordeal. He would've said, _Man are you crazy?_

Maybe he was.

Dean shook his head in frustration as he murmured,

"I'm sorry Cas. I'm _so_ sorry. I screwed up, I know, but…we can figure this out, okay?"

Dean paused. He laughed bitterly as he bit back an angry outburst,

"Come on! Take that damn stick outta' your ass and come out and talk to me."

Nothing.

Dean, needing a major shot of hard whiskey, gathered himself up, wiped at his muddy knees and stiffly walked towards the house through the rain. He didn't even know what the hell he was doing anymore.

As Dean closed the screen door, he headed towards the guest bedroom to dry himself and change his clothes. Dean didn't touch his clothes that Castiel had worn and grown to like. Wearing those items wouldn't feel, right. So he rifled through his own duffel bag. Once finished, sporting worn out jeans and a grey Henley, he wearily dragged his feet to the kitchen and clicked his tongue sourly.

He gritted his teeth in frustration as he made his way through the living room. Sam was lounging on the couch as he watched some old western film. Dean tried to ignore his little brother's puppy dog eyes of sympathy looking up at him as he slowly walked by.

Sam knew what had happened. Dean had told him, and all Sam could say was that there's nothing they could do but wait, just like before. Dean purposefully left out the intimate parts, not ready to tell Sam. As he walked by Dean plastered on his _I'm ok_ look and smirked,

"Next time I find you sitting on your ass I'm gonna throw you into a Wendigo infested woods. Got it?"

Sam chuckled at the false threat and threw a pillow at the back of his brother's head, changing the channel.

Suddenly before making his way out of the room, a loud movie from the 40's blared throughout the house. The sound of a woman's voice filled the expanse of the room. She was crying, and Dean hesitantly turned around to stare at the screen. A beautiful doe-eyed woman seemed to be peering out at him through the black and white film, dabbing her face with a handkerchief and sniffling,

_"I, I've never felt so lonely in all of my life…"_

Sweet playing violins pierced Dean's ears like needles. He frowned and groaned angrily,

"Oh please."

Sam was startled as Dean threw his hands up and stormed out of the room.

He practically dashed his way into the kitchen in dire need of that whiskey. He slid across the wood floor and bumped into the counter as he dumped the whole bottle into the largest glass he could find.

He downed it in record time.

He slammed the glass down hard, grimacing, and realized that the small kitchen radio was playing something softly. He turned his head slowly, almost comically, and listened to it as it sat atop the windowsill.

Brenda Lee's _I'm sorry_ flooded out through the tiny speakers,

_"I'm sorry, so sorry. That I was such a fool. I didn't know, love could be so cruel…"_

Sam turned his head with wide eyes as a stream of cuss words blasted out from the kitchen. He mumbled to himself as he shut the T.V off and picked up his beloved laptop,

"This is going to be a long night."

Dean clenched his fists as he stared at the radio, anger sizzling within his veins, threatening to make his blood boil. Was this some kind of joke? He reached out and quickly turned the dial, shutting it off. He heaved a sigh of relief as he turned around in search for another bottle of cure all.

In the blink of an eye, a tall man appeared inches in front of him and glared him down, swiftly grabbing him by his shirt and slamming him up against the wall. Dean grunted in pain as he stared up into the stranger's deranged eyes. His face drew close to Dean's as he spoke,

"So this is the famous Dean Winchester…We're going to have some fun with you."


	18. What Have I Done

Dean grunted from the sudden pressure as the strong arm pushed against his collar bone. He struggled against the man, but realized that it would be like struggling against a marble pillar. Sudden understanding washed over him as he glared at the taller man, saying through gritted teeth,

"Angels."

The slightly balding man shoved harder from Dean's accusation. Dean narrowed his eyes, still struggling against the man unconsciously. As he heard the wall creak in protest behind him, the angel stared hard into the hunter's pained face,

"Did they give you a PHD with that kind of thinking?"

Dean's eyes snapped over to two new angels that appeared behind the man holding him down. One was a slender woman sporting a business suit with a long neat pony tail of brown hair. The other was a shorter man, clearly younger in age, wearing a similar suit. Both of their hands were clasped daintily in front of them, but Dean knew that these creatures were anything but dainty.

Dean whipped his head towards the living room and wondered where the hell Sam was and if he was alright.

As if in mock answer to his desperate thoughts, Sam appeared before Dean on his knees, looking a bit bewildered, as another male angel firmly held him down. Dean stared with concern at his younger brother. He grunted,

"Sammy, you ok?"

A trail of blood trickled from his nose down toward his collar bone as he nodded in reply.

The _leader_ angel, Dean guessed, stared at him with a slight look of distaste as he said in monotone,

"Don't worry about your brother…We're not here for him." The surrounding angels remained blank behind him, "But we do have a special gift for you,_ Winchester_."

In an instant Castiel suddenly appeared between the two angel guards, gasping in pain as he panted on his knees. Dean struggled angrily against the man, trying desperately to get to Castiel. He yelled out to his friend,

"Cas!"

But he didn't look up at him. He continued to stare at the worn wood floor, his eyes becoming glossy and glazed over.

There were cuts and scratches covering the angel's face, and a large dark purple bruise covered the length of Cas's jaw, making the skin swell. Thick blood was splattered across Castiel's trench coat, just how an artist might throw paint at a canvas. Dean was seeing red at this point.

And it wasn't from the sight of blood.

Dean was suddenly yanked from the wall and pushed down onto his knees only a few feet away from Cas. The angel had an excruciating grip on the back of Dean's neck, and he couldn't seem to get himself to move. He wasn't strong enough to get away.

Shit.

The man above Dean glared at Castiel as he spoke,

"You tried to take the place of our Father, you hunted us, _and you killed our brothers and sisters!"_

Castiel's head hung low as he looked up through his brow, eyes fixing on the twisted angel towering above him. His voice was low and gravelly as he spoke through his teeth,

"You gave me no option, I had to stop all of you _and_ Raphael before heaven fell with chaos."

The angel holding Dean growled as he bit back,

"And Heaven looks so great now?!" He shook his head in disgust, "_Raphael _would've saved us, but you couldn't have that, could you?"

Castiel frowned in frustration as he craned his neck up towards the other angel,

"Raphael would've destroyed heaven! I had no choice but to kill you." He shook his head, "_please_, brother, _why won't you listen_?"

The older angel tugged Dean's hair violently, forcing his head back to expose his vulnerable throat.

"No Castiel! _Why won't you listen?_"

Sam gasped Dean's name as the man whipped out his angel blade, bringing it up to his neck. Castiel jerked up in earnest, trying to get to him. At first it seemed like he was going to slash his throat, but he quickly moved his blade.

He stabbed Dean in the shoulder.

If Dean heard Cas yell his name he hardly noticed. Dean grit his teeth in sizzling pain as he failed to hold back a yelp. Sam yelled his name as well as he struggled against the other angel holding him, but Dean gasped out a firm warning,

"Sam-Sammy it's okay, I'm okay."

Sam reluctantly stopped squirming and decided to save his strength. He feverishly tried to think of a way out of this.

Dean growled at the angels in the room,

"It doesn't matter what you spineless dicks do! Raphael is dead and no one wants to listen to your sap story."

All of the angel's face expressions darkened into something familiar to hell itself.

The suited man dug his fingers into Dean's wound, making him wince as the angel bent down and whispered into his face,

"Enough of your blasphemy!"

Dean was about to spit in his face as a reply when he suddenly felt his mouth and jaw lock shut. Dean tried to desperately open his mouth, but it wouldn't budge. The angel snarled furiously as he slammed his knife down into the hunter's thigh.

Dean tried to cry out but all that escaped was a muffled scream.

He snapped his eyes shut as the man stabbed him in the leg again, twisting the blade and making the wound cut deeper. Thick red blood stained his jeans as it seeped out and oozed onto the floor. Sam cried out,

"Dean!"

Suddenly Sam's mouth locked tightly as well.

Castiel continued to stare at Dean as he breathed heavily through his own pain. Dean didn't know what he was thinking, but he knew that Cas was too weak to fight back.

Dean was going to die.

The angel violently yanked Dean's arm out towards him, displaying his wrists to Castiel. The tall angel stared at Cas as he sliced Dean's wrists deeply, dark red liquid spewing and gushing from the open cut. Dean helplessly choked out a gasp.

Dean opened his eyes to lock with Castiel's. He saw his eyes widen in fear as he continued to struggle against the two holding him down.

Castiel, being an angel himself, was finally able to knock the shorter man off of himself for a split second. He didn't let the chance slip by. Castiel slammed his fist into the face of the other angel gripping his arm and leaped for his bleeding friend. But before he could get a hold of Dean, his face smacked down hard onto the wood floor as he was dragged backwards by his ankles.

Castiel grunted and reached out to Dean with fury as he was dragged back, trying to kick the tight grips that currently held him. Suddenly to Dean's horror the female angel yanked Castiel back up onto his knees by his hair and slammed an angel blade into his tender side.

Castiel cried out in pain but continued to struggle. His eyes flashed a bright white for a split second, indicating that she had almost killed him. As the female angel was about to slice open Castiel's throat, she was stopped by the taller man who was torturing Dean.

He gave her a stern look and said,

"No, wait."

He turned back around slowly to Dean and snapped his fingers. Dean gasped instantly as he was able to open his mouth once again. He panted heavily as he glared up at the angel who spoke down on him,

"I want Castiel to hear you scream."

He attacked Dean with lethal fury. The hunter flailed and dragged himself across the floor on his back, trying to think of _something_ he could do to stop all of this.

The angel grabbed him by the same leg he had stabbed and a loud snap filled the entire room. Dean screamed in surprise and grunted out against the pain as the bone in his left leg cracked in half.

Castiel let out an unexpected outburst,

"No! Please!" He twisted frantically, "Do what you want with me, just _please stop! Leave him!"_

The shorter angel holding him punched him in the side of the face. He grabbed Castiel by the hair, saying robotically,

"You will watch everything."

All Castiel and Sam could do was watch in horror as Dean was being mutilated.

Dean instinctively threw a punch to the angel's face towering over him, but yelped as he drew back his hand. It was like punching stone.

If only he could get a hold of one of those angel blades.

The angel shoved Dean onto his stomach as he violently dragged the bloody blade down his back, slicing muscle and skin. Dean arched his back as he screamed out, finally holding nothing back.

The angel slashed into Dean's right arm as he tried desperately to get away. He cringed when he felt the knife hit bone. Dean flinched and flailed about wildly, agonizing pain sizzling all throughout his body.

Suddenly Dean felt the angel blade pierce his flesh and protrude into his upper back.

Dean was sure it hit his lung.

This was it. This was the end.

He couldn't even scream. He tried to gasp but no air came through.

Sam felt absolutely helpless and Castiel growled as he thrashed against the force holding him,

"DEAN!"

Dean managed to let out a hoarse gasp as each breath became tighter and tighter. His eyes made quick contact with Castiel's as he garbled,

"It's ok Cas, I'm not afraid."

Suddenly his body went limp.

Sam jerked forward against the hold in a panic and tried to scream Dean's name with his mouth locked shut.

Cas froze in mute shock.

The angel dropped Dean to the floor as he stood up from hunching over. He cracked his back as he stood, sighing casually,

"Castiel…You have become disgustingly human."

Castiel stared up at the tall angel with malice flaring in his large eyes,

"I will kill you all! You aren't the brothers and sisters I once knew!"

The angel's turned to stare at him. Castiel was panting now from the wound and used all of his will power to keep his head held high, eyes frantically snapping back to Dean's limp and torn body. Dean's torso rose slightly as his body still tried to raggedly breathe.

The tall balding man raised an eyebrow and shrugged in a mocking way. He pointed at Cas with his dripping knife and said nonchalantly,

"And _you_ aren't the brother we once knew."

Cas fixed his gaze back onto Dean who groggily attempted to lift his head, only to have it thud against the floor, causing a splash from his own pool of blood.

To Castiel's horror he watched as Dean's hooded eyes closed slowly; his skin had become so white that he didn't look like the same man. His bloody hand twitched as it tried to move, only to stop. His ragged breathing became so shallow until…

Castiel was staring at Dean's still and lifeless form.


	19. Cry For Our Sins

Sam thrashed violently against the angel as he tried to scream out his brother's name, his mouth still locked shut.

Castiel remained silent in shock as he forced a stoic expression upon his face. He was unable to heal his own wound; the angels had conjured group power over him, so he had no choice but to stay motionless for the sake of his strength. He needed to save as much as possible.

He had brought this upon Dean. He selfishly went out seeking revenge, not even thinking twice that maybe he would be captured again, and blind to the fact that they might know about Dean.

And it happened. Now Dean had paid the price. Castiel felt an odd tugging sensation spread throughout his chest as he thought of Dean's words.

It's ok Cas, I'm not afraid.

Dean knew that he was going to die. And he did.

Something hot burned through his very core. Castiel had never felt such emotions so intensely, and he was slightly terrified as his heart rate pounded mercilessly against his chest. Castiel felt as if he deserved to burn forever in the fiery pits of hell. He knew that's where the angels would send him. Cas would be a fine prize to the infinite amount of demons that resided there. He knew that would be his fate. He knew.

Sam continued to jerk around, his long brown hair whipping over his face and Castiel could see the lethal intent in his eyes. He could feel it in Sam's soul.

He could feel it in his own.

The angels began discussing their next actions, and Cas knew that this was his only chance to try and bring them down. He had nothing left to lose.

As the angel's conversed to themselves about what to do next, Sam's eyes flicked to Castiel's as he puffed through his nose sharply. Castiel winked and gave the tiniest hint of a nod. Sam stopped struggling and gave him a confused look. He quickly wiped the look off of his face and became expressionless, realizing that the bleeding angel was trying to tell him something.

As the leader delicately wiped the hunter's blood off of his blade, he suddenly lurched back in surprise as one of his men flew across the room and slammed head first into the wall.

Castiel, gritting his teeth from the immense pain, jumped up and grabbed the female by her ponytail. She gasped in surprise, not expecting Castiel to have any strength left, and slammed her elbow into his gut; though through his burning hatred nothing could stop him now.

Nostrils flaring, he quickly gripped her jaw in one swift movement, stealing her angel blade, and snapped her neck while stabbing into her back.

He didn't even wait for her to fall.

He tightly gripped the woman's angel blade as he began a full out battle between the two other men.

Sam had been let go from the commotion and quickly took the opportunity to crawl over to Dean, who was still lying motionless. Sam took hold of his brother's shoulder and shook them violently. He flipped Dean over onto his back and gripped his shoulders as if the world depended on it and shook him again. His heart hammered inside of his chest as he stared down at the horrific scene before him. He hardly even noticed the intense angel battle carrying on around him.

He felt his throat seize up as his vision blurred. He slowly checked Dean's pulse with shaking hands.

He was dead.

Castiel had killed the other angel and was battling the last guard. Sam's eyes finally flicked up as he scanned the room, and knew that the one who tortured and killed Dean was missing. He looked around with wild intent, waiting for him to appear out of the air.

Castiel continued to slam his fist into the other man. He could feel himself going weak from the wound that he was unable to heal, and grunted from exhaustion. His white dress shirt was soaking and stained red as he continued to beat the angel, finally slicing his throat in one clean movement. Another bright light escaped from the vessel's eyes and mouth as he collapsed onto the floor in a heap.

Sam tried to yell Castiel's name but his mouth was locked, so he leaped towards him.

He was too late.

The tall leader of the group suddenly appeared behind Castiel and slammed his blade into his torso. Castiel arched his back and screamed from the unexpected pain, falling to his knees.

The man glanced to Sam running towards him and snapped his fingers, making him collapse to the floor with a loud thud. He was knocked out cold.

Castiel wheezed as he hunched over onto himself, trying to stay focused. He blinked his eyes in a daze as he cleared his blurring vision. Every breath he took felt strained, until he was struggling and gasping for air. His eyes flicked with light every few seconds.

No. He had to save Dean.

Blood dipped from Castiel's mouth a he glared up at the sadistic man who had once called himself a son of God.

He casually stepped around Castiel as he watched him pant, looking down on him as he smiled.

"Torturing you will never be enough payment for all of the destruction you caused."

Something suddenly dawned on Castiel. He vaguely remembered certain words that Dean had once told him in what seemed like ages ago. He had been fixing Castiel's collar and tie as he explained to him how humans get their way.

They lie.

Humans can lie with words; they can lie with actions too.

So could he.

He groaned loudly and hunched over farther, holding one of his wounds with his hand as the other propped him up from the floor. He exaggerated each movement. He did feel excruciating pain sizzling throughout the expanse of his body already, but he made it out as if he was about to slip out of his vessel, which he wasn't.

The taller man leaned down over him, stoically,

"I will send you to hell Castiel. That's where you belong, and what you deserve." He leaned down to gaze at his face closely, "Father shall reward me for what I am about to do, he will praise me for my actions."

In the blink of an eye Castiel swiftly whipped around with stunning force and slammed an angel blade right into the angel's throat.

He garbled in surprise, his eyes growing wide with pure confusion as they burst into a bright light.

Castiel had hidden one of the guard's blades in an inner pocket of his trench coat.

As piercing white light shot out from the man's eyes and his mouth gaped, Castiel whispered feircly into his face, nostrils flaring,

_"Father isn't here anymore, assbutt."_


	20. Bring Forth The Light

Sam inhaled sharply as he suddenly jerked awake. He was able to open his mouth again, so he wiggled his jaw around as he lifted a hand to his face. Still lying sprawled out on his stomach, Sam looked around at the scene. He looked up at Castiel as he stared at the angel's crumpled body that had once been one of his brothers. The angel seemed to be lost in thought for his eyes were glazed over with a faraway look.

Sam groaned inwardly as he lifted himself up onto his knees,

"Cas?!"

Coming out of his daze, Castiel scrambled over to Dean's lifeless form, still wheezing from the pain of his wound.

He still wasn't able to heal himself. He could feel that the power of the group had diminished drastically, but it was still there, keeping him from his own use of power. The angels that had attacked them weren't the full force, just the majority.

Sam watched as he tried to hold back his tears.

Castiel was feeling dangerously weak and dizzy. He had a hard time placing his hands upon Dean's chest; he caught the floor with one hand as he began to lean over. He glanced down to see that his own skin had gone very pale. He was losing blood quickly, he had to be fast.

Dean was the only priority.

As he strained to see Dean's body clearly he suddenly felt Sam's large hands holding him steady, gripping his shoulders tight. Castiel groggily flicked his eyes over to Sam's frightened face. The younger Winchester gave him one single pleading look, as if to say,

Go on Cas, you can do it.

He was there only hope.

What Sam didn't know was that Castiel had been saving the last of his strength for Dean. He didn't care if he himself died. He didn't care if his wings continued to be ripped and sliced day by day, the large flames licking his feathers and turning them into grey ash.

This was all that mattered.

Now being held up by Sam, he placed his hands upon Dean once again. The hunter's body was cold.

Castiel instantly relaxed and closed his eyes, releasing his energy into Dean's limp form. To Sam, time was still moving by in seconds, but to Castiel, time slowed to an excruciating pace as he rebuilt Dean's body.

Just like in hell.

But Castiel was doing so much more than simply healing, he was recreating.

He opened his soul to Dean, pouring every ounce of his being and grace into him. He let every thought and every emotion he had ever felt sink in as he poured himself into Dean, not holding back a single thing.

He could _feel._

Castiel's soul was within Dean, feeling what he felt, knowing what he knew. He could feel muscle and sinew stitch together, bone mending to perfection and internal bleeding halting in a matter of seconds. Torn skin sealed to smoothness as scraped flesh softened.

Somewhere, out in the dark beyond the living, beyond reality, was Dean's bright soul. It was torn and frayed, but it was like a beacon that reached and stretched and shined above all others, and Castiel retrieved it, sensing and truly _feeling_ the pulsing warmth that resided in it as he gently placed it back into Dean's empty body.

Castiel gave a weak smile as he stared down at the hunter with hooded eyes. His skin was smooth and glowing. Every gaping wound and every scar had vanished. His chest suddenly rose and fell in a strong rhythm and his leg was no longer disfigured from the break. It looked as if the hunter was simply sleeping.

Dean began to stir as Castiel continued to observe him, panting and wheezing harshly at this point. Sam gasped in relief as he rushed up to him, a large smile forming on his face as he cried,

"Dean!"

Dean opened his eyes hesitantly at first, trying to figure out just what the hell happened. He grunted as he began moving his body, twitching his leg to check for pain. There was none. It finally hit him in an instant and he shot upright, turning to Cas wide eyed.

Dean was alive, he was back.

Cas could see a black haze surround his vision until all that was left was a tiny pinpoint of light. He no longer had any strength left to fight the diminishing power that the other angels still held. If only he could wait a little bit longer, then maybe he would be able to fight through the force. But he had lost too much blood, this was it. He couldn't hold on any longer. He sighed with contentment. Dean was healed and in perfect health once again. He was going to be okay.

That's all that Castiel needed.

His eyes suddenly rolled back into his head as his body tumbled to the floor.


	21. I Can't Do This Anymore

"Cas? Cas!"

Dean reacted quickly as Castiel sank to the messy floor, grabbing his limp form and cupping the back of his head as he lay him down gingerly.

Dean looked over at Sam, still unsure of what was going on, and looked just as surprised.

"Sammy, you ok?"

Sam nodded his head absently while his eyebrows drew together as he stared at their unconscious friend,

"Yea."

Dean turned back to inspect the angel's slack face with his hands. His skin was cold and pale and Dean could barely feel a pulse. He was about to ask what had happened, but Sam already knew what he was going to say,

"He killed all of them, Dean."

Dean turned his head to stare at his brother, hands still on Cas. Sam ran his fingers through his long hair as he continued,

"He healed you Dean, and then" He motioned with his hands,

"This! I don't know if there are other angels who still have control over him, but he couldn't heal himself while he healed you." He suddenly spoke quietly, "He had plenty of time. But he couldn't"

An unnerving feeling bubbled inside at Sam's words. He scooted closer to the angel, shaking his shoulders as he frantically tried to wake him.

Suddenly Castiel's eyes and mouth shot open as a piercing light shined out of him. Sam and Dean staggered back, covering both their eyes.

Dean realized what was happening and rushed forward on his knees, shaking his head in fear.

"No, no, no! Hey Cas! Don't-" He turned his gaze to his younger brother. Sam saw the desperate and pleading look etched into his face. Sam felt his chest tighten as he stared back into his brother's worried eyes,

"Dean I-" Sam shook his head. What could he do?

Dean leaned forward over Castiel's tense form as he shook him vigorously, yelling,

"No! Don't you dare you son-of-a-bitch!"

He slapped the angel's face in desperation as the light stretched out from the vessel. Dean couldn't help but squint from the intensity of the bright rays.

Dean seized Castiel's face that he could hardly see from the light and suddenly paused.

What could Dean ever do to stop this? Cas was dying. There was nothing he could do.

Nothing. There was nothing.

He suddenly felt unbelievably inadequate for anything at that moment. He hated being human, he hated being him.

Anger scourged through his entire body as he let go of his friend's face and screamed in frustration. Sam flinched from the sudden scene.

Dean leaned down, gripping Castiel's shoulders, and pressed his quivering lips to his ear, feeling helpless and lost amid a sea of misery and defeat. Dean didn't even feel like he was within his own body, but that he was simply watching from afar. He whispered hoarsely into the angel's ear,

"Cas…please, please don't do this. I- I can't do this Cas, not-"

It felt as if a dam had broken inside of him. He couldn't do this anymore. To Dean's horror light continued to slowly seep out of his vessel. He finally let out what he was trying so hard to contain.

He screamed in seething rage.


	22. Deliver Me

He was drifting.

Drifting so far.

He began to feel the restraints of his vessel soon detach from his grace.

He didn't know where he would go. He didn't know what he would do. But Castiel was positive that he was being sent to the dark eternity that was hell; if not by more Raphael followers then definitely by God or his own brothers and sisters.

But he was not upset. Dean could live again. He could forget about Castiel and live his life with Sam and Bobby, without his own angel business butting in. Dean had been tortured because of him. What if something similar reoccurred? Castiel could not have that.

He was so ready and so willing to let himself be taken by the hands of his father, to be taken to his just fate, when suddenly he heard something that he could very well distinguish.

Dean's voice.

Dean was screaming his name.

Something forced Castiel to listen, even as he drifted farther away.

He felt a wave of Dean's soul crash into his own. He became overwhelmed by the power of it, it was staggering. He did not expect such a reaction out of the hunter.

Castiel felt an odd sensation vibrate through him, and to his surprise, reality didn't seem so distant.

He could hear Dean pleading for him to stay. He also heard that he was a son of a bitch.

He didn't quit understand that one.

Castiel's body was incredibly weak, and he had lost a tremendous amount of blood. He now had two wounds that left his torso gaping open. He was sure that he could never gain enough strength to heal himself. He was so lost within this body that he could not find his way to the surface.

_Closer, but still too far._

He was suffocating.

But as Castiel faintly heard a groan of anguish escape the hunter's lips, he knew.

If he couldn't float his way to the surface, he could damn well climb.

He listened to Dean's cracking voice, trying to find his way through the infinite darkness.

_Guide me._

He strained to listen as his grace fell back into its proper resting place within the vessel.

He didn't know how he possibly managed it, but he did.

He felt a sudden jolt as he could now feel and clearly hear his surroundings, and life that was once blurry refocused into sharp lines and piercing bright lights. Then it hit him.

The agonizing pain.

Castiel was so weak that he had no option to scream or cry out or even move; all he could do was absorb it as it coursed through every fiber of his being.

He wanted to give up. Why couldn't he just give up this one time?

Because Dean needed him.

And with almost embarrassing clarity Castiel realized that he needed Dean as well, more than ever. Flooding memories came forward into his mind of when Dean had held him in his most trying time. It was a rare thing to behold but Castiel had cherished every second of it.

All Castiel wanted was that one simple thing.

He couldn't leave. Not now, not ever.

Through the pain, through his beaten and broken body, Castiel weakly lifted his arm and blindly searched for the hunter.

The first thing he found was the side of Dean's knee that rested next to his upper body. He felt him jerk away with shock, and suddenly felt strong hands on his limp shoulders.

Dean practically yelled,

"Cas?!"

Castiel could not speak.

Dean whispered,

"Come on, heal yourself! You can do it Cas."

Castiel wanted to try, he had too.

He tried with everything in his being to expand what was left of his energy over his wounds. He didn't bother with the cuts, scrapes and bruises.

He had to try.

Dean tilted closer to his face, trying to listen for anything he might say.

Silence.

Dean stared down expectantly at the angel's slack face, his head and heart pounding. Castiel's head rolled back and to the side just slightly and Dean released a breath he didn't know he had been holding.

"Yes that's it Cas, come on."

Dean let go of his shoulders and ripped the angel's soaked shirt open; buttons flew in every direction. Dean stared in amazement as a bloody gash slowly but surely began to mend together.

His head snapped up to Sam as he said,

"Quick, grab some towels."

Sam nodded and raced out of the room.

With Sam's presence gone Dean finally gained the nerve to do what he would never do in front of his little brother.

Dean leaned down and pressed his face into the soft skin of Castiel's neck and simply _breathed._

He held his place, not knowing how long he had kept his face pressed to the angel's, but finally as he opened his eyes and lifted his head he was meet by large blue eyes. Dean had never seen anything more beautiful.

Dean's heart began hammering against his chest as he gazed down at Cas.

He cleared his voice, testing it before he spoke,

"Cas…"

Castiel could not speak, he was too weak. All he could do was stare up at relieved and concerned green eyes.

Dean's eyes flicked around the room, the dead vessels had disappeared. He looked back down and the large gashes in Castiel's body to see that they were freshly healed, minus the scratches and blood that still remained.

Cas was back.

Dean ran his hands back through his own hair and squeezed his eyes shut, tightening his lips to keep them from trembling.

_Don't you dare Dean Winchester. _

He had never felt so relieved in all of his life.


	23. Stop Denying Yourself

Dean was startled awake as the bed sheets shifted beneath him. He jerked his head from where it lay on his arms and looked around drowsily, rubbing his eyes. He suddenly remembered everything as he turned to stare at Castiel, who was already staring right back at him. His cheek was stained the color of dark purple and tiny little cuts were sprinkled all over his face and body.

Dean looked right past that and saw the familiar face he grew to know so much. The unique shape of his full lips, the sharp curve of his cheek bones, the cut of his jaw, the tired lines under his impossibly blue eyes…

Dean shook his head and wiped a hand over his face, burying those sudden and unwelcome thoughts.

Castiel looked away from the hunter by the bed side as he spoke,

"You're awake."

Dean groaned and rubbed the back of his neck, grunting,

"I could say the same thing to you-" He looked up and retorted,

"Oh man you were watching me sleep weren't you? Jesus Cas I keep telling you, that's just creepy!"

Castiel turned his head away, ignoring the comment. He wasn't sure what to say to Dean after that whole incident. He sighed,

"The minimal numbers of the rest of the rogue followers have dis-membered. Apparently I killed their leader. The one who…"

Castiel paused, Dean finished his sentence,

"The one who ripped us a new one."

Dean chuckled lightly as Castiel nodded, trying to keep the mood light. He suddenly asked,

"How do you know that?"

Castiel's eyebrows furrowed at the question,

"I have regained full access to Heaven's powers. I have a few…things to work out. But they can wait, for the moment."

Both of them didn't know what to say. So they just sat there, staring off at nothing. Late afternoon sunrays caressed the floor boards as it streamed in through the nearby window, giving the room a yellowish tint. The quiet tick-tock of a nearby wall clock threatened to burst their eardrums.

The silence was too much.

"So…" Dean finally droned, "Here we are again."

Castiel's gaze drifted to the small smirk forming on the hunter's lips, and mirrored the expression,

"Yes Dean. Here we are."

Dean shifted in his chair that currently sat next to the bedside and said softly,

"Cas, can't you heal," He gestured towards the angel's face, "The rest of that?"

Castiel raised his eyebrows,

"Yes, I forgot."

Dean watched closely as Castiel closed his eyes, the tiny little red flecks vanishing in an instant, and the purple rose displayed on his cheek disappearing into his skin.

Dean heaved a sigh of relief and Castiel opened his eyes to look at him quizzically. Dean's resolute expression soon changed to sadness when he saw Castiel's face become laced with guilt,

"You were right Dean. I never should have gone on that mission by myself. It was irrational of me and that foolishness caused you and Sam pain. And you," He shook his head "almost permanent death. I am sorry, Dean. I will do anything to redeem myself to you."

Dean gave a sad smile as he looked down at Castiel's hands resting on the sheets,

"Cas don't," He sighed, "just stop disappearing on us man…on me." Dean felt his gut coil uncomfortably when he remembered the reason why. "And I'm sorry that I…uh, well…when…we, you know…and I…" Dean hated these types of moments. He didn't want to talk about it. But it was like running away from the inevitable.

He could only run for so long.

Dean groaned in frustration and rested his head on the mattress,

"God Cas I'm sorry. I- I'm sorry."

Castiel gave him a look of understanding as Dean lifted his head. He stood up out of the chair and sat near Castiel on the edge of the bed. He couldn't help but notice Cas's fingers curling into the sheets. The angel scooted higher up onto the bed,

"How is Sam?"

Dean rested an elbow on his knee as he said,

"Oh Sammy's fine. Just a punch to the face but that always toughens him up."

He chuckled to himself but soon stopped as Castiel tilted his head in confusion. Dean purposefully didn't mention that Sam had somehow convinced him to "talk" things out with Cas. He didn't like it, but those damn puppy dog eyes…

Dean wanted to run. He could feel his heart thumping loudly against his chest, and he hoped that Cas couldn't hear it.

He was so bad at making speeches, especially emotional ones.

"Dean?"

Dean finally noticed that he had a tight grip on a section of blanket and he was twisting it tightly into a knot. He dropped it, embarrassed that he had let himself get so lost in thought.

He felt his hand instantly warm and he looked down in surprise to see that Castiel's hand was covering his own.

Dean was beginning to panic, but he didn't dare let it show. He quickly tugged his own hand away and held it in his lap.

As he looked back over he was expecting to see Castiel's face looking blank as always, but to his dismay it looked incredibly dejected.

Dean shifted on the bed; he was facing more towards the wall then at Cas. He cleared his throat, still processing his thoughts,

"Cas…what happened…I'm sorry I did that to you. I led you on, I should've stopped. I didn't know what I was doing, you weren't ready for it and I freaked and I-I"

He was rambling uncontrollably, but thankfully Castiel spoke,

"Wasn't ready for it? Dean if I had wanted it to end I could have easily stopped you."

Dean paused, confused, and glanced over,

"You- well I…yea I guess you could've…but-"

Castiel stared at him,

"But what?"

Dean finally looked at Cas, _really_ looked at him. Dean wasn't entirely sure what he was feeling, but he knew it couldn't be ignored.

_This is crazy._

There had always been something there; Dean just refused to acknowledge it. He had a feeling that Castiel knew about it, he was just waiting for Dean to catch up.

Oh.

_Oh._

Dean could've punched his own face. This whole time he had let Castiel's _male _vessel stop him from discovering something wonderful.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid._

Dean wasn't about to let this keep happening.

He took a long, shaky breath, and finally gave himself something he had always denied.

He slowly scooted closer to Castiel, never leaving his gaze. Castiel stayed blank and motionless as Dean reached out, running his hands through his dark locks of hair. Cas closed his eyes as Dean's fingers slowly trailed along his cheek, thumb ghosting over his lips.

Dean paused. He stared at the angel's closed eyes.

Is this what he wanted?

Is this what Cas wanted?

As Dean flicked his eyes up to the angel, he knew.

_Yes._

Dean gracefully ran his callused fingers along Castiel's face, tracing every sharp outline and curve of his bone structure. He ran his fingers lightly over Castiel's eye lashes, watching as his full lips parted. He held his face in his hands as he brought him closer to him. He felt their legs touch as he scooted closer. Castiel hesitantly brought his hands up to touch Dean's hands that rested on his face.

They were so close.

Dean could feel Castiel's hot breath on his face just like before.

But this time he was sure.

He wasn't going to mess it up this time.

He tilted his head as he finally leaned the rest of the way in. His lips met Castiel's softly.

Castiel pressed back with fervor, savoring every second of Dean's lips on his, afraid that he might pull away. Dean trailed his hands around Castiel's back and gingerly pulled him into a protective embrace, not wanting to ever let him out of his hold ever again.

It was all amazing. It was as if a weight had been lifted off both of their chests, and they could finally _breathe._

Dean tilted Castiel's head in just the right way so that he could gain entrance and deepen the kiss even further.

Castiel had never shared such an intimate experience with someone before. He had been close, but not like this. He was thankful that he was sitting because he was sure that his knees might buckle if he tried to stand.

Every nerve was on fire as Dean traced Castiel's teeth with his tongue, every light touch sent an explosive jolt of something he could not name coursing throughout his entire body.

Dean noticed that Castiel was shaking against him.

He pulled back to ask what was wrong, but the moment he pulled away Castiel's face became shocked and frightened. Dean moved back in and wrapped his arms tighter around Castiel's form and spoke soothingly,

"Hey, hey, Cas…I'm not going anywhere."

He felt Castiel's muscles relax.

Dean gingerly pushed Castiel onto his back and hovered over him as he melted into the mattress.

They stared at each other for a second, but Castiel tugged on Dean's t-shirt to pull him closer, wanting skin to skin contact.

"Dean."

Dean's fingers found their way to the hem of Castiel's pale blue shirt and swiftly lifted it over his head, exposing the angel's chest and toned figure. Dean straddled him as he pulled off his own shirt, throwing it to the wood floor.

Castiel's eyes widened as they took in Dean's upper body. Dean bent down again and glided his torso against the angel's, making him twitch.

Castiel soaked in the warmth of Dean's body as he wrapped his arms around him, drawing him closer.

Dean let himself go as Cas pulled his face to his, kissing him hard. Dean let out a throaty moan as he covered every inch of Castiel that he could, creating a protective barrier between him and the rest of the world while their lips moved together.

Castiel relished in the feel of Dean kissing and touching him. It was so alien that he thought maybe he was still recovering from the battle and that he was dreaming. Maybe it was just some cruel joke that Hell was playing on him.

No, it wasn't.

He knew as Dean's gentle kisses trailed across his face, that this was real, that this was happening.

Castiel sighed in bliss as Dean sucked on the sensitive flesh of his neck, then soon trialed down towards his chest. Cas ran his fingers roughly through Dean's hair as he was covered in sweet kisses.

Castiel gripped Dean's shoulders and pulled him back up to his face. He pressed his forehead to Dean's as he whispered in a low tone,

"Dean, I love you."

_OH._

Dean could only stare.

His face flushed bright red as he stopped to stare at Cas. Even though this was something that Castiel had never said, it was as if Dean already knew. The world didn't stop, the sun didn't shatter, but it was all still amazing.

He wanted to say it. He wanted too so badly.

Dean paused and breathed heavily into the silence,

"I…Cas I…I I…"

Suddenly Castiel brought a finger to Dean's lips and whispered,

"I know Dean. I know."

Dean smiled down at him and began trialing open mouthed kisses down Castiel's firm stomach. Someday he would say it, but he needed time.

Dean loved how beautifully responsive Cas was. Every delicate touch Dean would give him would ignite a thrilled moan or gasp from the angel, making Dean hunger for him more than ever.

Castiel began to feel a swirling heat intensify in his lower region and he didn't know what to do with himself. Dean nipped at the sharp jut of his hip bones and continued assaulting his navel with his tongue. But Cas craved to kiss Dean's lips; he moaned in pleasure and pulled Dean's face back up to his and attacked his lips in a powerful kiss. Dean was surprised by the change of pace but gratefully accepted it.

Castiel willingly opened his mouth as their tongues intertwined in a smooth rhythm. Dean moaned as Cas ran his hands over his bare back, feeling every taut muscle.

Suddenly Dean pushed is hips down and grinded onto Cas. Castiel threw his head back against the pillow in shock, and from the sudden burst of excitement Castiel's wings appeared before Dean, trembling while being tensely displayed. Dean wasted no time as he gently reached out, running his fingers through the soft plumage.

Castiel gasped and threw his head back again as Dean's fingers found his wings. He wrapped his arms around Dean's neck and cried out as Dean continued to caress his wings while grinding down onto the hard bulge that strained through his sweat pants. Castiel's shaking hands trailed up into Dean's hair as he began kissing his neck, following along Dean's jaw line until he was kissing his face again.

Castiel moaned as he wrapped his legs around Dean's torso,

"Dean…"

Dean continued rocking their hips together, eliciting another cry from Cas. Dean groaned, his breathing heavy and heated as he tried to touch everything part of the writhing angel beneath him.

He gazed down at Castiel as he panted and gasped, his skin glowing in the fading sunlight.

He leaned down and licked the shell of Castiel's ear and kissed him again, savoring the taste of his mouth.

"Cas" Dean panted in between kisses, he needed more. Castiel whined as he tried to rut against Dean, the small friction not enough.

Castiel suddenly reached down and tugged on Dean's jeans, wanting them off _now. _Dean reluctantly pulled back from Castiel's lips and almost frantically shed his jeans. Dean looked down and admired Castiel's body as he panted and waited for Dean to lean down again. He gripped the top of the angel's sweat pants and quickly tugged them off, leaving both of them in their boxer briefs.

Seeing Cas panting and hard beneath him gave him a thrill he's never experienced before. It was unexpected but welcomed.

But Dean paused as Castiel's hands trailed up his thighs. He'd never gotten intimate with another man before, and he was _scared. _What if he couldn't do this right? He wasn't ready for everything.

Castiel calmed when he saw Dean's hesitation. He ran his hands up to his hips and reached back more to grip his ass. Dean's breath hitched and he looked away, touching the elastic of his own underwear,

"Cas I-"

Cas hummed and tugged Dean forward by his ass so he was sitting directly on top of his aching groin, he groaned,

"Dean, move now"

Dean didn't need to be told twice.

He leaned down and kissed Cas, grinding down again. The room suddenly became a mess of the sound of rustling and rubbing fabric, throaty moans and heavy breathing.

Cas wrapped his legs tighter around Dean, squeezing his sides as he tensed up,

"Dean!"

The tingling heat was growing between them, and Castiel gripped Dean's hips even tighter as their cocks slid together through soft fabric.

Dean buried his face into Cas' sweaty neck and kissed it fiercely,

"Come on Cas…Come on"

Castiel could feel it, and he could hardly believe it. This was happening with Dean, _Dean._

His nails scraped down the hunter's heated back,

"Dean-Dean-I'm-I'm-_ahhhhhhh!_"

Dean watched Castiel's face as he came, and felt his boxer's become wet and sticky with his release. And just seeing Cas' face and hearing him make _those_ noises sent Dean over the edge.

Dean sputtered Cas' name into his neck as his body tensed, spilling his own mess into his boxers. He dropped down onto Cas and simply laid there, breathing slowing. Cas was in a daze as he wrapped his arms tightly around Dean and kissed his temple. Dean wanted to think about what they just did, but he was too groggy and blissed out to care, so he nuzzled closer into Cas and fell asleep.


	24. We Finally Made It

Dean awoke from his peaceful sleep to the sound of Castiel's breathing and soft snoring. He tilted his head ever so slightly and glanced to the nearby clock on to see that it was 8 a.m. Tiny golden rays of sun slipped in through the gaps in the curtains to form bright lines on the worn out floor.

The house was silent.

But it was a soothing and placid quiet. Dean sighed as he lay still, feeling the warmth and weight of Castiel nuzzling on top of him. The sleeping angel wrapped his arms tighter around Dean's bare torso and shifted his head slightly on his chest.

Dean found it flabbergasting that Castiel was actually managing to sleep, even with his angel mojo in full throttle. But he didn't mind, he actually loved it.

Dean gazed down at him and ran his fingers lightly through his dark and unruly head of hair. His glorious dark wings had vanished once again sometime in the night while they had slept, but Dean remembers vividly how they felt as he ran his fingers through every layered feather. He also remembered the lovely sounds that Castiel had made, Dean never wanted him to stop saying his name the way he did.

Images of last night flew through his mind.

He thought of how extraordinary the foreign experience had been. It had been Castiel's first time, but Dean had to admit that it was probably the best sex he had ever had.

And based on Dean's experience that was saying something.

Dean ran his fingers from Castiel's soft hair down to his back and stroked his spine. Cas shifted slighty as he mumbled jibberish, but soon stilled once again. Dean bit his lip in thought as he realized something. What happened between them, had been much more than just sex, it had been love making.

That's why Dean had been so scared.

He had tried to make love to Lisa in the past, and it had seemed legit. But deep down, hidden beneath layers and layers of doubt, denial and pure stubbornness, he knew that he was only making love to the idea of what he wanted.

Dean paused his stroking on Cas.

It had all just been mindless before, strained and forced, until now. This time it didn't feel forced, and it wasn't. That's why it felt so different.

That's why it felt so amazing.

Castiel began to stir a few minutes later, confused at first about where he was. Dean smiled lazily down at him and Castiel suddenly remembered.

He shifted awkwardly on Dean as his eyes flicked about the headboard, unable to look Dean in the eyes.

"Hello Dean."

Dean chuckled softly,

"Hey Cas."

They continued to stare at each other for a moment as they contemplated the other's demeanor.

Suddenly to Dean's surprise, Castiel slowly crawled higher up toward Dean's face, like a lithe cat. He pressed his swollen lips to Dean's forehead, eliciting a deep sigh from the hunter as he closed his eyes.

Castiel's expression became stern as he pulled back. Dean gave him a questioning look and Castiel's face turned a bright vibrant shade of red.

"I enjoyed having sexual intercourse with you Dean, I would like to do it again."

Dean's eyebrows rose at the comment and began laughing hysterically.

Castiel titled his head in confusion, his brow furrowing into a frown as he watched Dean laugh and sputter.

"Dean?"

Dean accidentally pushed Cas off of him as he rolled over onto his side, clutching his stomach as his muscles hurt from the laugh attack. He wheezed and covered his eyes with his hand,

"Oh god Cas, you really know how to charm em' don't ya?"

He finally began to calm himself and his breathing slowed. He grunted one last time as he rolled around in the sheets, opening his eyes. He was startled to see Cas leaning on his elbow, the frown gone and staring down on him, a tiny smile ghosting across his lips.

To his surprise Castiel leaned over and gripped Dean's shoulders, shoving him swiftly onto his back.

Dean gasped in surprise as he was suddenly looking upwards toward Cas. He actually enjoyed the feel of strong hands gripping him tight and holding him down, he never felt something so exhilarating.

Castiel attacked Dean's lips in a powerful and passionate kiss. Dean unashamedly moaned into it, loving the roughness the angel was displaying.

He relished in the feeling of being dominated, for once, but at the same time it terrified him.

Dean silently laughed to himself,

_I've been to hell, I've been to heaven, I've meet Lucifer, and I encounter deadly beasts every day, but I'm scared of a damn angel pushing me into the sheets. You are one messed up person Dean Winchester._

Cas continued to kiss him deeply as he ran his hands all over Dean's chest. Castiel began kissing the hunter's ear and nipped at his neck roughly. Dean thought it was amazing how quickly he could learn. Well, he is an angel after all.

Castiel suddenly paused and turned away from Dean.

He yawned.

Dean gave the angel a sarcastic look,

"Really Cas? I'm already boring you?"

Castiel turned back with a smug look on his face, but before he could answer Dean shushed him,

"Never mind, don't answer that." He laughed again, and to his delight he saw Castiel give him a full smile. It was a flash, but it was all that he needed.

Dean reached out gently and gripped Castiel's bare hips, touching the soft skin that hugged his sinful hip bones.

Castiel must have zapped them both clean sometime while he slept, because their underwear wasn't sticky with cum as they were the previous night. Dean was thankful for that; waking up to crusty and sticky boxers was not a fun deal.

His breathing hitched when Castiel bent over and began licking one of his nipples. Dean's fingers gently ran through the angel's hair as he suckled and nipped at the swollen bud. Dean was surprised by the sudden whine that escaped his throat,

"Oh God Cas…"

Castiel hummed and Dean felt the vibration course through his body, eliciting another moan from him. Castiel moved down lower, and before Dean could register what was happening, Castiel tugged Dean's underwear off quickly without hesitation.

With sudden realization that he was naked in front of Cas, Dean blushed fiercely and tried to hold his knees together, attempting to cover up but failing miserably. Before Dean could muster up a word, Cas gripped his wrists and held them above his head, devouring his mouth once more. Dean moaned in shock. He actually was loving this, he felt like this was his place, his spot. _God did it feel so right._

Cas shed his underwear as well using his angel mojo, and buried his face in Dean's neck. He still held the hunter's wrists tightly as he lapped and sucked at the freckled skin under his jaw. Dean was losing it.

He wrapped his legs around Castiel's waist and groaned into his neck,

"Cas…Cas I-I need you."

Castiel paused his devouring of Dean's neck to gaze at him,

"Dean?"

Dean huffed and let his head fall back into the pillow, highly aware of their skin touching _everywhere,_ he was achingly hard and so was Cas,

"Come on Cas, don't make me ask twice."

The angel leaned in closer, letting go of Dean's wrists so he could lace his fingers with his instead, and asked quietly,

"Dean…are you sure?"

He leaned up and kissed Castiel softly before whispering,

"Yes dammit!"

Castiel's eyes were dark and his pupils were blown out, and it gave Dean a flutter in his stomach he had never quite felt before. Suddenly Castiel "mojoed" a bottle of lube out of thin air, making Dean chuckle because _damn._ Dean watched with anticipation as Castiel lubed up his fingers as he reached between Dean's legs. Dean jerked at the first touch of Castiel's fingers to his rim, and suddenly felt one finger slide in.

_Holy crap._

Why had Dean never explored this before? He threw his head back with a hiss but he couldn't believe how good it felt.

Castiel slowly worked him open, adding a second and third finger. By this point Dean was writhing and panting like a wanton teenager. He ran his fingers blindly over any part of Cas he could reach as he lifted his hips a little with trembling legs. Dean never wanted this to stop but he also needed more. He could hear Cas breathing heavily as well, and he knew he couldn't wait much longer either.

"Cas" He croaked between pants, "Cas please I-I'm ready, fuck I'm ready."

He hissed when Castiel's fingers pulled out, but was suddenly attacked by chapped lips. Both groaned into the kiss as Castiel lifted Dean's shaking thighs and lined himself up with Dean's entrance. He took a deep breath and slid in. Dean shouted,

"Ahhh fuck!"

He threw his head back in pain and pleasure, waiting for the initial pain to subside. Tingling heat burned inside his very core as he opened his eyes to look at Cas. His eyes were closed and his mouth was open in a silent "O" as he restrained himself from moving before Dean wanted him too.

Dean reached forward and clung to Castiel's hands that held his hips, stuttering out through gasps,

"Alright I'm good, _move_."

Instantly Castiel bent forward, pulling out slightly and thrusting in with more force. Dean groaned as he squeezed his thighs tighter around Cas.

Castiel rocked into Dean gently, and then began to move more forcefully, loving the slip and slide inside the incredibly tight heat. As he started to pound into him, he tried to kiss Dean again but it only ended up with their faces pressed together, breathing in each other's pants and moans. Dean scrapped his blunt nails down Castiel's sweaty back, loving the feel of his body tensing and tingling with sheer pleasure as beads of sweat rolled down his forehead. Dean's cock ached to be touched, so he reached down between their moving bodies and gave himself a few strokes. Suddenly Castiel grunted and pushed Dean's hand away, taking hold of his throbbing member. Dean cried out as Castiel continued to pound into him while stroking his cock in rhythm with his thrusts.

Dean was drifting towards the edge, and suddenly Castiel's head drooped as his thrusts became jerky and short.

"Dean…" Castiel moaned and let go of Dean's cock to grip his ass. Dean was losing himself.

"C-Cas! _Fuck_!" He gripped Castiel's shoulders as his mouth hung open in silent cries.

Castiel frantically moved into him and finally Dean came. He wasn't sure if he screamed or not but he honestly didn't care, and he was vaguely aware of Cas coming with a loud groan shortly after.

After coming out of their high, Cas drowsily pulled out of Dean and zapped them clean once again. He fell back toward the lax body beneath him, never letting his eyes leave Dean as he rested his head on his firm stomach.

Dean sighed as he stared down at Castiel. He tugged on his shoulder lazily so he would move higher toward his face. Castiel complied with a grunt and kissed Dean slowly and deeply. Dean smiled into the kiss and held Castiel close while he settled back down onto his chest. Dean pulled the sheets higher up on the both of them as the haze of sleep slowly drift over him once again, and he closed his eyes, waiting for the hands of sleep to pick him up and carry him away.

Then out of nowhere Castiel's low and raspy voice filled the silence,

"Dean…do you think we should tell Bobby and Sam?"

Dean's eyes snapped open.

He jerked his head up slightly to look down at Cas, his mouth gaping open,

"What?"

Castiel shifted a bit to get more comfortable while saying,

"Do you not think that Sam has a right to know?"

Dean paused,

"Uh, well, yea I guess. But, I just…I don't think I'm ready to tell them yet, Cas."

And the truth was, was that he really wasn't. How was Dean, the bad boy ladies man, going to tell his younger brother that he went bi for an angel of the lord?

No, no. That was not happening.

But Dean adverted his gaze from Cas, thinking again.

Dean knew he was being low, and it hurt like a bitch. Even though he was severely afraid to tell Sam, he knew in the end that he would. He couldn't pretend that none of this happened. He couldn't pretend that this was fake.

Dean chewed on his bottom lip.

Frankly, Dean was getting sick of having secrets.

He looked back towards Castiel, his jaw practically dropping.

Castiel was doing the famous head tilt again, and he was giving him his amazing puppy dog eye look while also including a lip pout. Dean stared back.

Fucking angels.

His thoughts were on turmoil as he contemplated. But when he looked at Cas again, the stern barrier finally cracked.

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes. He might as well get it over with now. I mean, it's not like he has to tell them what they were doing behind closed doors.

But there was a tiny, yet profound feeling bubbling up from within him. If Bobby and Sam disapproved, then so be it. Dean would figure it out if they had to cross that bridge. It wouldn't change what Dean and Castiel had, nothing could. But Sam really wasn't the type to judge anyway.

Dean gave an exasperated sigh again and wiped a hand over his face.

This was going to be tough.

Bobby and Sam stared with feigned and somewhat sarcastic surprise at the two men sporting sweatpants and t-shirts. Little did Dean know but Bobby and Sam had already heard the racket upstairs.

Dean cringed a bit but tried to not let it show. He ran a hand back along his own neck and glanced to Castiel beside him to see that he was staring blankly back at them, no readable emotions laced into his face.

_How could Castiel have told them with a straight face?_

Sam was sitting at the kitchen table researching on his laptop, while Bobby stood by the kitchen counter cooking bacon.

Dean fidgeted under their gaze as he listened to the snap and crackle of the hot meat sizzling in the pan.

Sam suddenly laughed out loud and went back to his work on his computer. Bobby rolled his eyes and said gruffly,

"Boy, don't you think we already knew?"

Now it was Dean's turn for his eyes to grow wide, he stuttered,

"Uh…w-what?"

Bobby huffed as he turned pieces of bacon over in the pan, adjusting the heat,

"Sometimes you are one big sack of dumb."

Sam picked up a nearby beer bottle and took a quick swig. He set it down and said flatly,

"Yea Dean, it's been pretty obvious."

Dean began to panic. This was not the reaction he was expecting. What does he mean it's been obvious? He started to wipe his hands nervously on his pants, unable to form words,

"I-uh-uh-we-"

Bobby turned away from the bacon on the stove again, pointing at them with his tongs,

"You two boys didn't think I'd notice the way you stare at each other all the damn time? At first I didn't believe it. It didn't seem like you." He shook his head, "But with all of the crap we've been through, I'm not really surprised anymore. I still think it's nuts, but hey, you two can do whatever you want." He began to turn back around but suddenly paused, speaking loudly,

"Except for grope each other like a pair of horny teenagers who can't find a room! I better not see any of that, ya hear?" Bobby grimaced and returned to his cooking, muttering,

"freakin' idjits…"

Dean's heart hammered inside his chest as his face burned with embarrassment. He continued to wipe his sweaty palms onto his pants as he sputtered,

"I, uh, err, I- I'm not uh, you know!"

Castiel turned his head to look at him.

Dean leaned away and stuttered,

"I mean, I'm only, you know," He tilted his head, "for Cas."

Sam smiled at Dean wickedly,

"So…bi?"

Dean clenched his jaw and pointed at his younger brother,

"Shut up Sammy!"

Sam looked at him defensively,

"Hey, come on, I'm happy for you! Even though it is, really, I don't know, odd. I mean I did have my suspicions at times…" Sam gestured towards the blank angel and his bright red brother,

"But I'm with Bobby on this one. I never in my entire life would've expected…you two, but, honestly I'm happy for you both," Sam finally gave a sincere look, "Really. But I'm so never going to let this go."

He grumbled as Sam started chuckling at his seat.

Dean shifted his gaze across the room, rubbing his neck fiercely while he stared at the floor,

"Thanks Sammy."

He turned and swiftly walked out of the kitchen. Castiel followed close behind, and Dean couldn't see but Cas was attempting to hold back a laugh.

As they both walked down the hall towards the bedroom, Dean reached back and grabbed Castiel's hand, intertwining their fingers together.

They both fell into the sheets once more, with Dean wincing a bit as his ass hit the bed, and happily sighed into each other's arms. And if Castiel heard Dean whisper a small _I love you_ into his neck, he wouldn't say. He just simply responded with a kiss.

~Fin~


End file.
